I kinda wish Deadlock wasn't a MOBA—not because I don't play MOBAs, you understand. I have a misspent youth of over 2,400 hours in Dota 2 and 340 of the suckers in Deadlock itself. I know ball. Rather, I think Deadlock's universe and characters are so damn charming that I'd love for more people to know about them, and the MOBA genre is kinda unassailable.
And while the recent major Deadlock update has me kicking my feet and squealing at the gorgeous new environments—and I am very excited for Baba—there's one thing that makes me even happier: The voice lines. Not only does the update bring a voice line viewer into the game, it also… well, let me just let the official site speak for itself:
"Pre-match conversations between new and existing heroes increased from over 700 to 1500." It's Christmas, baby. Here are some of my favourites I've found so far:
Celeste: You planning on killing me after the ritual so you can find out what unicorn blood tastes like?
Drifter: No, I'm planning on killing you after the ritual because I know what unicorn blood tastes like.
Celeste: OK, so hear me out: what if I just give you blood.
Drifter: It's a lot less fun for me.
Celeste: I get that. But here's the thing: we're hard to come by. If you kill me, you don't know if you'll ever see a unicorn again. If you let me live—you can come back whenever you want the novelty. Also you get the added bonus not having half your face burned off.
Drifter: You make a compelling argument.
Drifter: Do your job or I'm going to tear through your little hotel.
Doorman: No sir, you will not.
Drifter: Excuse me?
Doorman: I will do my job because I value excellence. But if we fail you will not set one foot in The Baroness, nor will you lay a finger on its guests, lest your immortal life meet an ignoble end. Am I clear?
Drifter: Who the hell are you?
Doorman: I'm just the Doorman.
Rem: Can I please eat your cat?
Calico: No.
Rem: I saId please!
Calico: I don't care. Touch my cat, and she'll be eating you.
Mina: You should have told me you were alive
Pocket: Why?
Mina: Because I loved you.
Pocket: You didn't love me, you loved my last name.
Mina: I don't know if that's true.
These samples—the Drifter discovering a Lovecraftian god, Mina and Pocket being the most divorced couple in NYC, Celeste bargaining for her life, and Rem being a freaky little freak—are just some of the excellent conversations I've been flipping through since the update was released. Honestly, I've been digging into them for more time than I've been playing actual matches.
And the new cast of five heroes is only bound to add more excellent dynamics to Deadlock's roster—I can't, for instance, wait to see how the prolifically sassy capital punishment survivor Seven and park bench witch Baba interact, or how the "Be Not Afraid" doctor Nurse Harrow might interact with The Doorman, who could be a lovecraftian kindred spirit, for all we know.
These are just the pre-match conversation voicelines—"over 10,000 non-ping voice lines" have been added, too. It's a tremendous amount of work added to Valve's excellent MOBA, and I can't wait to see the Cursed Apple's final form… whenever that may be.
