Hector: Badge of Carnage! offers a hefty helping of adult adventuring

Lucas Sullivan at

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*Ahem* And now, dear readers, a (not kid-friendly) excerpt from Hector: Badge of Carnage!:

"You sick son of a monkey's ginger half-brother. Yesterday at 8:25, on the hard shelter of the M2, the defiled, excrement-covered corpse of Ellen Pierce, 83, head severed by an electric tin opener and replaced with that of a goat, was found at the wheel of an overturned school bus filled with burning paraplegic orphans. A man of your height, stature, and hair color was reported at the scene wearing a gimp suit and crotchless toreador trousers, eating a tuna and sweet corn sandwich, while at the same time, sodomizing the bus."

So, yeah. That's just one of many crude but hilarious moments to be found in Telltale's adventure game coming to the PC next week.

The series is already out on the iPhone, but is making the jump to the PC on April 27th to act as the nicotine patch to our adventure game cravings. British Detective Inspector Hector, created by the guys over at Straandlooper, could be considered the Peter Griffin of the police force: overweight, nonsensical, and crass—all in the name of doing the right thing. The first of Hector's raunchy escapades, Episode 1: We Negotiate With Terrorists, is slated for release next Wednesday. As if that wasn't enough puzzle-game goodness, pre-ordering the $10 game snags you a copy of the stellar Puzzle Agent. If you've been finding the recent adventure-game fare a little too tame for your tastes, maybe it's time you met the uncouth cop for the 18-and-older crowd.