Global Agenda competition winners
We've endured much, you and I. You had to endure two weeks of waiting to see if you were one of ten lucky readers who'd won a free copy of Global Agenda. I had to endure reading through a billion entries, each better than the last. To the ten of you who'll now be jetting around playing Global Agenda for free, my congratulations! We asked you for the ten lamest reasons or ways to use a jetpack. Here they are:
PD102 suggested "using a Jetpack to hover just above people's heads at a Cliff Richard concert." That's pretty lame, because other people behind you need to see Cliff Richard too. For shame!
Lack 26 may have let bitterness taint his entry. Better hope your supervisor at Jetpack Industries doesn't read PCGamer.com, Lack.
"Using it to deliver jetpacks, then having to trudge home in the rain having delivered said jetpack to those lucky enough to afford them; knowing all the while that your own life is miserable and empty in comparison and every day you have to go through the heartbreak of giving away what you most desire for yourself, a jetpack, to smiling, rich, happy families so they can soar like angels as a tiny speck drags its feet back down the driveway and through the gates."
Sir_Oddington reasons that there's no use flying around in the sky when you're missing out on a potential auxilliary poo storage chamber: "Hollow it out and use the metal shell as a spare sceptic tank." Pro tip: if someone then straps it to their back and tries to start that thing up, dive for cover.
contrapositive tells it like it is: "Reaper rushing."
DrugCrazed says: "To use as the beginning of a rube goldberg machine that pushes me up into the sky." I demand that the first step in the sequence is you turning on your apparently-but-not-really strapped on jetpack, which shoots off without you.
RichardDRMC is still fighting the good fight. He says, "Convert it to a podracer for little children. Then alienate one of the largest fan bases with some shitty prequals. Just sayin."
Bendito came dangerously close to my idea for a jetpack propelled rocking chair. He reckons you could use your jetpack for "Solo see-sawing".
jimangi wins a copy of Global Agenda because he'd "craft it into refined metal," but he also suggested that you could use your jetpack for "going to the shop for my copy of PC Gamer. That’s lame. Real men subscribe." Ah, I love the smell of patent advertising in the morning. The smell of victory.
Godl1keStev3 reckons that the height of laziness would be "using a jetpack to go DOWN the stairs." A winner is you, Stev3.
But Ociee made me lol the most with the mental image his entry conjures:
Well done guys! I'll be sending you your codes via our forum's in-built "electromagnetic mail" system. Check your private messages for your keys. Once you have them, whack it into Steam.
Now, to fetch the list of codes from under the novelty magnets I've stuck onto my new non-cooling, curiously-jetpack-shaped, all-the-food-smells-like-paraffin fridge. It's a floating, smelly buffet!
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