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OnlyCans is a thirst trap-soaked game about sexy sodas

OnlyCans
(Image credit: OxyOxspring)

Well there's a headline I never thought I'd write. But thanks to the eccentric mind of Sean Oxspring, there's now OnlyCans: Thirst Date, where you lust after a variety of different sodas.

If it wasn't already obvious enough, the game is a tongue-in-cheek reference to the site OnlyFans, which has become well-known for its use by sex workers. OnlyCans puts you as the principal photographer of each different drink. It doesn't offer the deepest gameplay, being a sort of rhythm game/light dating-sim hybrid. Well-timed mouse or button prompts will either snap a sultry shot of the soda you're currently courting, or cause their can to lightly spray with excitement. Get the cans all fizzed-up, and you'll be rewarded with a satisfying click before it sprays its contents all over the place.

OnlyCans

(Image credit: OxyOxspring)

The game really has no right being as slick as it is, and the humour shines through its various personalities. There are 29 different cans here, all with their own stories, likes and dislikes—Lemon Party loves mornings and champagne sorbet, and hates motorcycles and jeans. Each can is even fully voiced, providing an immersive, unexpectedly juicy experience.

OnlyCans is free and made with considerable attention to detail, each soda offering a different aesthetic—from Cherry Pop's lacy lingerie to Juicy Melon's Harajuku street style. The main menu's theme is also a bop, offering a sultry jazz piano that wouldn't sound out of place in an equally horny game like Catherine. I'll never look at cans the same way again.

Mollie Taylor

A fresh writer in the industry, Mollie has been taken under PC Gamer's RGB-laden wing, making sure she doesn't get up to too much mischief on the site. She's not quite sure what a Command & Conquer is, but she can rattle on for hours about all the obscure rhythm games and strange MMOs from the 2000s. She's been cooking up all manner of news, previews and features while she's been here, but especially enjoys when she gets to write about Final Fantasy, Persona, The Sims, and whatever other game she's currently hopelessly fixated on. There's a good chance she's boring another PC Gamer writer about her latest obsession as we speak.