Join The Club
I've said it before and I'll say it again: cutscenes are the worst. There I am, sitting down to play a game, ready to tap some keys and wiggle some thumbsticks and click my mouse—when suddenly the game I'm playing decides it's actually a movie and all I can do for the next few minutes is watch.
You might think I'm too fidgety, too impatient, or that I simply don't have the attention span to sit there doing nothing while a cutscene plays. But you'd be wrong! It's the cutscenes that are the problem. They simply suck.
Except when they don't suck, of course, like in Dave the Diver, which is the only game I can remember playing where I was left wishing there were more cutscenes instead of zero cutscenes. Dave the Diver's cutscenes were so energetic, so fantastically animated, so surprising and funny and occasionally kinda horny that I loved every one of them and wished there were more.
Well, I got my wish. For the past week or so I've been playing Dave the Diver's new DLC, In the Jungle, which is not only completely rad but has some amazing cutscenes that are somehow even more wild, and more horny, than the cutscenes in the base game.
Rather than watching them, I'd urge you to actually play the DLC and discover them for yourself—but I'm not your boss, so sure, go and have a look below a few cutscenes I've selected from Dave's new adventure. First up, check out what a skeptical villager thought of the alligator tail meal Bancho cooked up for her:
I mean… Wow. That lady definitely had a massive orgasm while tasting that dish, right? It's not subtle, it's not subtext, that food was so good she straight-up nutted. That's not the only horny cutscene in Dave the Diver: In the Jungle, but it's definitely the horniest. It also made me realize I haven't really had a great meal in a long time. Maybe I need to try some new restaurants.
Aside from people climaxing while eating, there's a new character, Muna, sort of a gadget-maker who enjoys her work to an extremely high degree. From time to time Dave will have to approach her about upgrading his "jungle gun," which he uses to assassinate fish. Muna really dives into her work and her scenes are all incredibly animated and fun. Here's just one of several weapon upgrade scenes:
Dave's little shiver at the end. Do you think he… nah.
There are lots more excellent cutscenes in the DLC, which is surprisingly hefty for just a $10 price tag. There are naturally several scenes of Bancho dramatically enhancing recipes, there's a lovely boat ride scene at the start, a great car chase scene in the middle, and a rather dramatic cutscene near the end—but I won't show you any of those. I don't want to spoil any more than I have to!
OK, fine, here's one more of my favorites. I won't give you the context, all I'll say is you won't be able to guess what it signifies without playing the DLC, yet it makes perfect sense in the game itself. Enjoy!
