Swen Vincke had to tell Baldur's Gate 3 writers to tone it down with the poop-based insults, which is saying a lot, since I still count at least 17 scat-based Vicious Mockery voicelines

Volo, a bard extraordinaire, holds up his hand in caution in a brightly-lit forest grove, from Baldur's Gate 3.

(Image credit: Larian Studios)

Vicious Mockery is one of the most iconic D&D 5e spells—in case you're completely unfamiliar with the system, or just haven't played a bard yet, it's a cantrip that deals 1d4 psychic damage (scaling a bit with your level) and gives enemies disadvantage on their next attack roll. It also lets you insult someone so hard that they just die, which is also the case in Baldur's Gate 3.

Larian went real overboard on the depth and breadth of insults with this singular cantrip—even giving one NPC bespoke, trauma-invoking dunks just to twist the knife even more. But there was a time when these insults were just plain dookie. No, literally.

"Tape your bottom-mouth shut."
"Thou goblin-goo-gobbler!" This one's debatable, based on what we think goblin goo is.
"Thou latrine-loving leper!"
"You gorbellied, purulent horse-ass!"
"You're dung-pretty and scented to wit!"
"Back to the anus that spat you out."
"Hark! A dung golem!"
"Clag-bottomed coward!"
"Majesty of manure, sovereign of shit!"
"Mouthier than an arse, twice as full o' shite."
"Regard this spontaneous flatulater!"
"There - a miserable pile of secretion."
"Shall I compare thee to a sow's fart?"
"Gnoll eat your face and shit it out?"
"Feculent beast!" Feculent means to contain dirt or waste matter, so I think this one counts.
"Fudge-fondling fustilarian!"
"Thou bandy-legged brindle-hole!"

We've got at least 17 rump-oriented heckles that made the cut—that last one might be an edge-case, but "brindle" means a brown the colour of animal fur, and I think we can reliably say what a brown-covered hairy hole might be. Just not on this website.

TOPICS

Harvey's history with games started when he first begged his parents for a World of Warcraft subscription aged 12, though he's since been cursed with Final Fantasy 14-brain and a huge crush on G'raha Tia. He made his start as a freelancer, writing for websites like Techradar, The Escapist, Dicebreaker, The Gamer, Into the Spine—and of course, PC Gamer. He'll sink his teeth into anything that looks interesting, though he has a soft spot for RPGs, soulslikes, roguelikes, deckbuilders, MMOs, and weird indie titles. He also plays a shelf load of TTRPGs in his offline time. Don't ask him what his favourite system is, he has too many.

You must confirm your public display name before commenting

Please logout and then login again, you will then be prompted to enter your display name.