Here is a mouse-pad you can grill meat on
Happy 4th July. If you're struggling to decide whether to burn cow or play PC games, we can offer a solution. Do both. The image you see before you is off the Fierce Teflon® & Steel Mouse Surface, a mouse-mat that has been coated in the same stuff you use to make bacon sandwiches. Its creators, Rude Gameware, claim that "with the Fierce Teflon Mouse surface you'll experience outrageous mouse speeds faster than your own reflexes, plus your meat won't stick to the grill. Your friends will envy your newfound ability to p0wn them on Battlefield as well as the barbecue."
They spelled pwn wrong. And that's not all that's gone horribly wrong with their press-release. Read on for the inevitable backtracking disclaimer.
"July 4th is about America," said Michael Epstein, Chief Rude Officer, in his own press release. "And what's more American than gaming and grilling? I'll tell you: gaming and grilling at the same time. Also, fireworks. Maybe we can work those into our next version."
The press release went on to say: "LEGAL NOTE: Though it is possible to heat the Fierce Teflon® & Steel Mouse Surface for grilling purposes, it is in no way encouraged by Rude Gameware. Additionally, Rude Gameware is not liable for any third-degree burns, house fires, or barbecued mice that may be caused by improper use of its product. Rude Gameware would like to additionally note that using the Fierce Teflon® & Steel Mouse Surface to grill and then to game is downright stupid, and whoever tries it deserves whatever happens as a result. Lastly, Rude Gameware does not guarantee the deliciousness of any foods cooked on the Fierce Teflon® & Steel Mouse Surface. If the consumer messes up the recipe we gave him last Thursday, it's his own fault, Jeffrey."