Forum Dramatis: The World of Warcraft Authenticator Caper

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It was a normal day in the PC Gamer office: Craig was reading forum threads that he could recreate for his stage show: “Craig Pearson's Dramatic Forum Recreations, Vol II”.

“No, I'm not trolling. I am serious. I was sitting in my chair and biting into my authenticator while thinking about several RP related story arcs that I have planned.”

“I swivvel around in my chair and presume to fall off it...”

“...and shoot the authenticator into my mouth and down my throat.”

“I have drank some of that stuff that makes you vomit, but I'm apparently resistant to a whole bottle of it.”

The thread in question is here . What would you do, readers?