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  3. Hardland

Things I lifted over my head in Hardland, an Early Access RPG

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By Christopher Livingston published 2 July 2015

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I lifted things over my head and here is a list of those things

I lifted things over my head and here is a list of those things

I've been playing Early Access RPG Hardland, which is quite Early Access, if you know what I mean. There are only a few fetch quests at present, but once I discovered I could lift things over my head, I came up with my own quest: lift as many things over my head as I could.

Here is a comprehensive list of things I lifted over my head.

Page 1 of 15
Page 1 of 15
A log

A log

Let's ease into this. A log. That seems like a thing one could lift over one's head. And so it was.

Page 2 of 15
Page 2 of 15
A cart

A cart

I was pretty happy to discover I could lift an entire wooden cart over my head. A nearby Fire Wizard didn't seem too impressed, however, but Fire Wizards are not particularly friendly in Hardland. Even if he was impressed, the Fire Wizard would never tell me.

Page 3 of 15
Page 3 of 15
A stone block

A stone block

I wasn't sure if this should make the list, as it's not really being lifted over my head, but sort of in place of my head. After a long internal debate and counsel with my most trusted peers, I decided to include it. I did lift it, after all.

Page 4 of 15
Page 4 of 15
A normal-sized sheep while standing on a Dire Sheep

A normal-sized sheep while standing on a Dire Sheep

I found a giant sheep, which the game calls a Master Sheep. I'd prefer they call it a Dire Sheep. Anything that is larger than normal should be called Dire. A double burger should be a Dire Burger, a double-decker bus should be a Dire Bus. And so forth. Anyway, I couldn't lift the Dire Sheep but I could lift a smaller sheep while standing on the Dire Sheep.

Page 5 of 15
Page 5 of 15
A Dire Apple

A Dire Apple

This was a very large apple I found and lifted over my head.

Page 6 of 15
Page 6 of 15
A Dire(?) Pig

A Dire(?) Pig

After breaking into this little man's house and stealing all his food (RPG SOP) I lifted his Dire Pig. At least I think it was a Dire Pig. It appeared to be a little bigger than a pig I found and lifted in a dungeon, anyway:

Hardland

Page 7 of 15
Page 7 of 15
A fisherwoman

A fisherwoman

Most NPCs you come across give you a choice to talk to them or steal from them. This fisherwoman, however, gave me a choice to lift her over my head. So, I did.

Page 8 of 15
Page 8 of 15
A fox

A fox

I came across a little man who told me he'd like a pet fox. Eventually, I found a fox and carried it all the way back to him. It didn't register as a completed quest and the fox ran away. I was disappointed, but it did at least give me something to lift over my head.

Page 9 of 15
Page 9 of 15
A little dead goblin

A little dead goblin

I killed a little goblin and lifted him over my head.

Page 10 of 15
Page 10 of 15
A large dead goblin

A large dead goblin

A much bigger goblin was harder to kill than the little goblin, but still easy to lift over my head. I'd be tempted to call him a Dire Goblin but there is a much bigger goblin, as you'll see.

Page 11 of 15
Page 11 of 15
A little living goblin

A little living goblin

While fighting a Goblin King and his minions, the Goblin King spawned a goblin right while I was trying to pick up a cake. (Goblins sometimes have cakes.) Instead, I lifted the little goblin. He looks rather taken aback, as was I. I put him down and killed him to avoid further awkwardness.

Page 12 of 15
Page 12 of 15
A dead Goblin King

A dead Goblin King

After I killed the Goblin King (a Dire Goblin if I've ever seen one) I naturally lifted him over my head. He's so big you can't even see most of his face, but there's another picture below. I'd like to point out for the record that's not actually a Goblin King in the picture below, but is me after I drank a potion I bought from a friendly witch that let me transform into a Goblin King. Just so you know.

Hardland

Page 13 of 15
Page 13 of 15
A chicken (while wearing a chicken mask)

A chicken (while wearing a chicken mask)

While wearing a cursed chicken mask, I lifted a chicken over my head.

I'm not sure why the mask is considered cursed. While wearing it, chickens follow me around (see below). That doesn't seem like a curse. It seems like a nice thing.

Hardland

Page 14 of 15
Page 14 of 15
The rift of lift

The rift of lift

After taking a break from lifting things, I loaded my saved game to find I'd fallen victim to a common curse of Early Access. Everything was gone. No buildings, no trees, no monsters or NPCs, no nothing. Though I was intact the world was empty. Though I had arms there was nothing to lift with them. Though I had a head there was nothing to lift above it.

Obviously, Hardland is still in the process of being developed, though the lifting works really well. It's available on Steam Early Access.

Page 15 of 15
Page 15 of 15
Christopher Livingston
Christopher Livingston
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Senior Editor

Chris started playing PC games in the 1980s, started writing about them in the early 2000s, and (finally) started getting paid to write about them in the late 2000s. Following a few years as a regular freelancer, PC Gamer hired him in 2014, probably so he'd stop emailing them asking for more work. Chris has a love-hate relationship with survival games and an unhealthy fascination with the inner lives of NPCs. He's also a fan of offbeat simulation games, mods, and ignoring storylines in RPGs so he can make up his own.

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