From the developers that brought us Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator, Clickolding, and El Paso, Elsewhere, comes the sequel I didn't know I needed: Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator. Yep, it's exactly what it sounds like: a game where you trade and bet on alien babies as though they were stocks. Capitalism is hell.
The first-ever gameplay trailer for Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator just debuted during the PC Gaming Show: Most Wanted, and what a ride it was. I had a blast with the original, although it taught me I know absolutely nothing about the stock market. The sequel looks like a real improvement—even if the idea of trading babies makes me a tad uneasy. But hey, who am I to question intergalactic culture?
The main gameplay loop revolves around the trading day. Pick a baby, find a shadowy broker who can give you more information about what the market will do, and then buy and sell shares as its value shoots wildly up and down.
The baby's life is described on screen as you trade. Events such as playing with sticks and getting lost in a maze can raise and decrease the wee babby's value, which is a wild thing to type. You have a limited number of buys that can only be reused once you start selling, so timing will be very important.
In the trailer, after winning a knife fight, the value of the chosen baby skyrockets. This is the perfect opportunity to "short that baby." Now, I've watched The Big Short, and as I understand it, shorting means you're essentially betting against the baby and assuming its value will go down. Please remember, this is not financial advice.
There are other features like side bets that can earn (or lose) you some extra cash, but the meat and potatoes is the sheer rush you get as that stock graph shoots up and down. That pulsing electronic soundtrack really has me in the mood to gamble on babies.
Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator will be out early 2026, and there's a demo you can download on Steam right now if you want to try it out. If not, just add it to your wishlist and wait for it to launch.
If placing speculative bets on the lives of interstellar babies isn't your jam check out everything announced during the PC Gaming Show: Most Wanted Powered by Xbox Game Pass. There are plenty of other games to see, but none of them have art of stockbrokers waving cash at a bug-eyed alien baby.
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