Gigantic Steam holiday sale stuffs stockings with games, coal
Hey, wait, didn't we just get done shaking off the cruel shackles of poverty after the last one of these things? Oh well, unnecessary luxuries like roofs, walls, and food are largely inconsequential in the face of really great videogame deals. And man, if day one's deals are any indication, this will be quite the hall-decking holiday haul. I mean, using my patented Raving Lunatic advocate scale, Portal 2 at $7.49 is a "BUY IT," Just Cause 2 at $4.99 is a "Buyitbuyitbuyit," and Orcs Must Die at $3.74 is a "[Violently collapses and begins foaming at the mouth]".
The holiday sale's also hosting a meta game that involves collecting coal. Basically, if you complete daily objectives, you'll walk away with free games. But if you commit the naughtiest act of all - failure - you'll receive a lump of coal. That coal, however, can be used to enter the Epic Holiday Giveaway. And if you win? Well, you'll find every game on Steam waiting under your virtual tree. So then, make with the indiscriminate purchasing. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to fish my beggar's clothes out of the dumpster. And probably some days-old pizza. May as well get a head start.