Go Back   PC Gamer Forums > Games

    Reply
     
    Thread Tools Display Modes
      #1   Report Post  
    Old 01-13-2011, 10:06 PM
    StingingVelvet StingingVelvet is offline
    Senior Member
     
    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Location: Tampa, FL
    Posts: 2,729
    Default I Worship Rift as a God!

    Hell adventurers!

    Are you lost among the sea of games out there? Have you had faith in a game, only to lose it? Are you a slave to a game today that is not the holy light you thought it was?

    BREAK FREE!

    Today I am here to tell you about a marvelous new game called Rift! Rift is an MMO, that stands for "must mount OMG" and it basically means you will love this game so much you will want to fuck it. Conveniently the disc version comes with a fuck-hole already placed in the middle of the disc (some penis sizes not supported) so you can consummate your new love immediately. If you purchase the digital delivery version, please see the Rift forums for ideas about where to stick it.

    Rift is not just a fucking lovely piece of ass though, Rift also has an entertaining video game mode for your PC. In this mode you will tap number keys constantly as you work your way through quests and enemies designed with a "jesus is it five o'clock yet?" philosophy. Rift recognizes that people don't play games to have fun, they play games to get their dick hard thinking about the phat loot they might collect over the next horizon (please see previous comments about fucking Rift should your dick stay hard for more than 2 minutes after procuring said phat loot). After all my years of suffering through fun gameplay while I searched endlessly for monotony, I finally found the answer with Rift!

    Rift is not just a fuck-buddy and video game, Rift is a lifestyle! Rift is a being of glorious light and salvation and thus I have started worshiping it. I hope you will play Rift and see how magical it is, what a tight pussy it has and how not-fun gaming can be. If you're lost, come home... TO RIFT!
    Reply With Quote
      #2   Report Post  
    Old 01-13-2011, 10:10 PM
    rizla rizla is offline
    Senior Member
     
    Join Date: Nov 2010
    Location: Warrington, UK (originally wales)
    Posts: 512
    Default

    Lol. summed it up better than my review must be said
    __________________

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by GarrySmith View Post
    I like game.

    [Xenex P170EM][17.3" HD LED 1920x1080p]
    [
    Intel i7-3630QM][Nvidia GTX680m 4GB]
    [
    1TB SATA II 8MB Cache][8GB K. Hyp.-x-genesis DDR3]
    --Hooked Up To--
    [
    24" iiyama E2472HD][Toshiba 46" 3D LED TV]
    Steam | J3ffy

    "You Fight Like A Dairy Farmer"
    Reply With Quote
      #3   Report Post  
    Old 01-13-2011, 10:32 PM
    greenbeermonkey greenbeermonkey is offline
    Senior Member
     
    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Location: Guernsey, Channel Islands
    Posts: 1,919
    Talking

    i smell sarcasm....

    now where is that like button?
    __________________


    PCG Game Club
    Steam

    Also on Origin
    Reply With Quote
      #4   Report Post  
    Old 01-13-2011, 10:37 PM
    StingingVelvet StingingVelvet is offline
    Senior Member
     
    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Location: Tampa, FL
    Posts: 2,729
    Default

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by greenbeermonkey View Post
    i smell sarcasm....
    Sorry friend, you are mistaken! Rift is not a joke, Rift is a powerful bullet of salvation shot right down your fucking gullet!
    Reply With Quote
      #5   Report Post  
    Old 01-13-2011, 10:48 PM
    SSH83 SSH83 is offline
    Senior Member
     
    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Location: New York City
    Posts: 803
    Default

    OMG! Where do I sign up!! I NEED SALVATION!!!
    __________________
    Dungeon Keeper. "Peter Molyneux' greatest dark fantasy/humor."
    Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines. "This 2004 FPS-RPG has voice-acting, world, and replayability that stands up to or outright beats modern AAA classics like Bioshock, Mass Effect, and New Vegas."
    Reply With Quote
      #6   Report Post  
    Old 01-14-2011, 12:34 AM
    Valderrama Valderrama is offline
    Member
     
    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Location: SouthAmerika
    Posts: 48
    Default

    LOLZ ...............the salvation!!!!
    Reply With Quote
      #7   Report Post  
    Old 01-14-2011, 01:15 AM
    Vitalogy11 Vitalogy11 is offline
    Senior Member
     
    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Posts: 1,021
    Default

    Oh my god I am cracking up.

    Lol I vote this thread of the month.
    Reply With Quote
      #8   Report Post  
    Old 01-14-2011, 01:48 AM
    Jimmeh Jimmeh is offline
    Senior Member
     
    Join Date: Sep 2010
    Posts: 872
    Default

    Haha, LOLsome thread. Where do you find your inspiration StingingVelvet? :P
    Reply With Quote
      #9   Report Post  
    Old 01-14-2011, 06:27 AM
    greenbeermonkey greenbeermonkey is offline
    Senior Member
     
    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Location: Guernsey, Channel Islands
    Posts: 1,919
    Default

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by StingingVelvet View Post
    Sorry friend, you are mistaken! Rift is not a joke, Rift is a powerful bullet of salvation shot right down your fucking gullet!
    Ok ok, i downloaded the client and......

    BROKE FREE.

    I want to break free
    I want to break free
    I want to break free from lies
    Youre so self satisfied I don't need you
    Ive got to break free
    God knows God knows I want to break free

    Ive fallen in love
    Ive fallen in love for the first time
    And this time I know it's for real
    Ive fallen in love yeah
    God knows God knows Ive fallen in love

    Its strange but it's true
    I can't get over the way you love me like you do
    But I have to be sure
    When I walk out that door
    Oh how I want to be free baby
    Oh how I want to be free
    Oh how I want to break free

    But life still goes on
    I can't get used to living without living without
    Living without you by my side
    I don't want to live alone hey
    God knows got to make it on my own
    So baby can't you see
    Ive got to break free

    Ive got to break free
    I want to break free yeah

    I want I want I want I want to break free....

    *Lyrics by John Deacon.

    SV - lets grab out laptops and Riftify at the beach!
    __________________


    PCG Game Club
    Steam

    Also on Origin
    Reply With Quote
      #10   Report Post  
    Old 01-14-2011, 06:37 AM
    StingingVelvet StingingVelvet is offline
    Senior Member
     
    Join Date: Jun 2010
    Location: Tampa, FL
    Posts: 2,729
    Default

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by greenbeermonkey View Post
    SV - lets grab out laptops and Riftify at the beach!
    Dude... SCORE! What an idea. To Riftify all across the country, spreading the good word, would be a life well lived for sure.
    Reply With Quote
    Reply

    Thread Tools
    Display Modes

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is On
    HTML code is Off

    Forum Jump