Updated: Steam active users graph flatlines after prolonged routine maintenance

No, your eyes don't deceive you. That's a plunge to exactly zero concurrent users that appeared this morning on Steam's active users graph. Gamers are currently unable to log into their accounts, and even the Steam mobile app seems to be on the fritz.

Like most mysteries of the universe, Valve's proclamation is fodder for subjective interpretation. Was the subtle injection of dry humor intentional? What would precipitate an extended maintenance window? We can cycle through typical causes -- a clumsy-intern-and-wire mishap, a sleep-deprived engineer, or an impromptu social experiment from Gabe Newell -- but the mystery lingers.

Curious. We've contacted Valve for more info which we'll hopefully receive unless its employees are battling back an infected horde at the Steam server rooms.

UPDATE: Aaaaaand... it's back!

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Omri Petitte is a former PC Gamer associate editor and long-time freelance writer covering news and reviews. If you spot his name, it probably means you're reading about some kind of first-person shooter. Why yes, he would like to talk to you about Battlefield. Do you have a few days?