Red Dead Redemption 2 modder says to hell with your realistic western cowboy fantasy, get horse girl pilled instead

Red Dead Redemption 2 put an absurd amount of work into making its horses as realistic as possible—thousands of animations, tons of research, testicle physics—and I'm about to undo all of that by turning them into Umamusume: Pretty Derby anime horse girls.

That's thanks to the (frankly heroic) work of JohnTanner1899, who's been slowly trickling in a number of mods over the last several months, turning everything from noble steeds to NPCs into some of Tracen Academy's finest racers.

JohnTanner1899 was even ahead of the global Umamusume sweep, publishing a mod that replaces a male NPC with Tamamo Cross back at the beginning of March. Since then, they've also created mods for the likes of Aston Machan, which replaces the model for Mary-Beth Gaskill, Almond Eye who takes the spot of Sadie Adler, and Taiki Shuttle who becomes the very horse itself.

Kitasan Black is also available—though I literally cannot figure out if or what she's supposed to replace—while if your fishing rod isn't quite umapyoi enough for your liking, it looks like you can simply straight up swap it out for Cheval Grand instead.

Why? I honestly have no idea. Why do modders do anything? JohnTanner1899 doesn't really offer up any reason—in fact, their mod descriptions are so brief half of them don't even mention what they actually do—but I do find it slightly funny that a machine translation of the Cheval Grand mod notes that they prefer the "old Italian Western style of Redemption 1 to the Yellowstone style of Redemption 2." I'm not sure chucking anime versions of real-life Japanese racehorses in there will do anything to help that.

I kind of hope that JohnTanner1899's ultimate goal is to turn the entirety of Read Dead Redemption 2 into Umamusume. Arthur Morgan? Special Week. Dutch van der Linde? Grass Wonder. Turn the guns into my horse girl daughters. Let me get into a shootup with Sakura Bakushin O with Gold Ship by my side. Maybe I'll actually finally finish the damn game.