I am going to kill Slim Shady with mom's spaghetti
(In Hitman.)
At today's Xbox Partner Showcase, IO Interactive revealed its next celebrity-themed elusive target for Hitman: World of Assassination. Arriving on December 1, the free, limited-time Eminem vs Slim Shady mission sees the Detroit-based rapper recruiting Agent 47 to assassinate his young alter-ego, which has manifested on the material plane as a separate, homicidal entity.
"In his latest album, 'The Death of Slim Shady' the rapper attempted to put his other self away, but now Eminem recruits the legendary assassin Agent 47 to put his past away permanently," IO Interactive said in a press release. To serve as the battleground for this existential conflict, the Hokkaido map has been remixed into Popsomp Hills Asylum, an "environment where doctors, patients, and performers blur into one," where Slim Shady "delivers erratic live performances to a captive audience of staff and inmates."
Presumably, Agent 47 thinks this is cool and fine.
I don't know what force or magic has hewn Eminem into a bifurcated being at war with himself. I only know that, as of today, it is my duty, obligation, and sacred calling to kill Slim Shady with mom's spaghetti.
The "surreal new mission," IO Interactive said, is filled with "dreamlike twists" and "abundant Eminem references," like an in-mission performance of "Houdini" and a potential poisoning opportunity using the doom-laden long pasta, as served in Eminem's real-life Mom's Spaghetti restaurant in Detroit.
It is decreed by fate—an inevitability written in the stars, an ending of arcing cycles traced across the ages. IO Interactive has given me the necessary tools. It is an opportunity that comes once in a lifetime, and I will not miss my chance to blow.
I must, and will, kill Slim Shady with mom's spaghetti.
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Oh, also, they're bringing back the Jean-Claude Van Damme elusive target, so I guess you can kill him again, too, if you want. I, uh—I didn't have any references on deck for him. I'm sorry.
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Lincoln has been writing about games for 11 years—unless you include the essays about procedural storytelling in Dwarf Fortress he convinced his college professors to accept. Leveraging the brainworms from a youth spent in World of Warcraft to write for sites like Waypoint, Polygon, and Fanbyte, Lincoln spent three years freelancing for PC Gamer before joining on as a full-time News Writer in 2024, bringing an expertise in Caves of Qud bird diplomacy, getting sons killed in Crusader Kings, and hitting dinosaurs with hammers in Monster Hunter.
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