The big finale at Microsoft's Xbox One reveal today was not Call of Duty: Ghosts. It was Call of Duty: Ghosts' instantly famous mo-capped dog. That's right, Ghosts will feature Peter Molyneux's essential invention: a dog companion to keep us company as we fight back against an oppressive someone. This is Call of Doggy. Collar Duty. The rex generation of gaming. I could go on, but I'll stop before you flea.
It's time! The second trailer for Grand Theft Auto V has finally arrived. No, there's still no mention of a PC version, but since every previous GTA game has eventually found its way to PC, we're fairly confident this one will too. The new trailer spotlights Michael, Trevor and Franklin, the game's three protagonists, but also includes some new info.
With an echoing cackle and a cry of "so long!" Peter Molyneux has fled Microsoft towers on a tiny, portable helicopter banged together from bits of old chairs and several rolls of red tape. Prior to take off, Kotaku established contact via long distance mind meld and received the following statement: "It is with mixed emotions that I made the decision to leave Microsoft and Lionhead Studios, the company that I co-founded in 1997, at the conclusion of development of Fable: The Journey."
"I remain extremely passionate and proud of the people, products and experiences that we created," Molyneux intoned, telepathically, "from Black & White to Fable to our pioneering work with Milo and Kate for the Kinect platform. However, I felt the time was right to pursue a new independent venture."
Every week, Richard Cobbett rolls the dice to bring you an obscure slice of gaming history, from lost gems to weapons grade atrocities. Today, prepare to have sex ruined forever by an erotic adventure that's as much fun as discovering your childhood teddy bear has chlamydia.
Lula 3D features a warning label warning "Intense erotic scenes may lead to CHOKING, SWEATING, and RAPID HEART BEAT." It wishes. It's a game whose box proudly promises that "Bouncing Boobs Techology" lies within, clearly relying on its target audience not being in a position to call bullshit at the leaden, poorly animated mammaries awaiting their disappointed perversion. From start to finish, the only positive thing you can possibly say about Lula 3D is that at least it has the courage of its grotty convictions, earning its 18 rating with sex scenes and gratuitous nudity from the installation program on. But no, that's not why we're looking at it today. Oh, no. We're here for the one thing it doesn't promise - the most drugged-up, logic-defying road trip ever slopped on DVD.