Bob Odenkirk on Mario: 'I'll kill him'

(Image credit: Nintendo)

You don't reach the top of Hollywood without stepping on heads. It's a rough game out in La-La Land, and only the most ruthless and bloodthirsty can survive long enough to get their star on the Walk of Fame.

Like Bob Odenkirk, for instance, who gave us a taste of the killer instinct under that cuddly exterior in a recent interview with IGN, in which he announced that he could—perhaps would—stab Mario to death with the shattered remains of his own swimming goggles.

"I'll tear that moustache off his face, jam it down his throat, take those goggles [note: Mario was wearing goggles in the screenshot Odenkirk was looking at] rip 'em to pieces and stab him with those," said Odenkirk of Nintendo's mascot character, who has delighted and entertained families for decades. "It's gonna be bloody."

I should probably note that Odenkirk was giving this interview as part of his promo tour for Nobody 2, his upcoming action film where he goes on holiday and kills a lot of people. His task was to look at pictures of other fictional characters and decide if he could take them in a fight. I should note that, but I won't. Instead I choose to continue living in a world in which Bob Odenkirk is possessed of a rootless, murderous rage against Mario.

"You know why?" continues Odenkirk, "Because of the smile. I don't like the smile; it's too innocent. Too innocent!"

Bob Odenkirk is NOT a fan of these people #sdcc - YouTube

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Odenkirk also said that he would "happily kill" The Brady Bunch and that he would "step on" and "crush" Alvin and the Chipmunks, but that he would leave Home Alone's Kevin McAllister in peace. At press time, Nintendo had yet to respond to Odenkirk's threats, or to release a comment as to whether it would defend its intellectual property against his onslaught with military force.

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One of Josh's first memories is of playing Quake 2 on the family computer when he was much too young to be doing that, and he's been irreparably game-brained ever since. His writing has been featured in Vice, Fanbyte, and the Financial Times. He'll play pretty much anything, and has written far too much on everything from visual novels to Assassin's Creed. His most profound loves are for CRPGs, immersive sims, and any game whose ambition outstrips its budget. He thinks you're all far too mean about Deus Ex: Invisible War.

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