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    Old 02-09-2013, 11:25 PM
    JackRabbit JackRabbit is offline
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    I fucking hate this game.
    But not as much as kwisatz does!
    So the, rather more morose, Skaven team take to the field, against Kwisatz Elves (Of some description, at least they are not dwarfs) in the swealtering heat.
    this can only end badly.
    With a quater of the lineup still being met by mercenary linesmen, at least I have the services of a dedicated catcher today.
    I bet he won't miss a pick up THREE TIMES IN A FUCKING ROW!
    So the match starts, and would you adam and eve it, I get awarded a blitz!
    YAY
    THE DICE HAVE FORGIVEN ME
    ALL IS WELL IN THE WORLD
    TURNOVER.
    Idiot gutter runner barely moves two squares before he is tripped by an elf.
    End of event.
    Do not move to the endzone.
    Do not collect a touchdown.
    I hate this fucking game.
    So, sigh forming as I prepare for another drubbing when
    TURNOVER
    Kwisatz first act also results in a turnover.
    Hmm, clearly someone else has attracted the ire of the god of dice!
    Indeed with the ball still being in the open, and interestingly enough, despite me kicking, the ball landed in my own half, and is now easily retrieved by my catcher!
    He passes it to a gutter runner,
    who passes it to another gutter runner,
    who runs to within a rats whisker (see what I did there) of the end zone!
    TURNOVER
    kwisatz runs his elves back to his own half, bearing down as much as a flighty elf can, but its too late and the Skaven secure an early lead
    1 - 0
    So the second kick is in and
    BLITZ!!!!!
    AGAIN!
    Only this time the gutter runners reach deep into the heart of Elf territory and is their to catch the kick, and secure a second tounchdown next turn.
    2 - 0
    Clearly Kwisatz has provoked the gods ire far more than I have this weekend!
    So, still in the first half, the next try is the most hard fought of the game, lots of turnovers, the ball changes hands several times before an Elf Witch manages to secure kwisatz first try
    2 - 1
    Now my memory gets a bit fuzzy here, and I cant remember if the next touchdown ocured in the first or second half.
    But I do remember that KwiSatz has again angered his god, for whilst he expertly managed to floor a gutter runner, the ball then bounced out, and when it gets thrown back in, it lands, again, a rats whisker away from his endzone!
    Oh he makes a valient attempt to get an elf back to it, but its too far away, a veritable hoard of gutter runners descend on the ball, and whisk it to the endzone
    3 - 1
    So, the second half starts. With Kwisatz now fielding only seven players to my eight. The Ogre having succumbed to the heat. Not that he did much anyway, having spent the majority of the first half asleep in the middle of the field.
    He did make a very effective wall though.
    Anyhow, a two try lead, surely he can't come back from this.
    He makes a fucking good attempt. And I offer three words of advice to any future opponents of his
    Beware
    The
    Witch

    She jumps, she smashes and sidesteps her way through an entire swathe of skaven warriors to secure a second touchdown.

    3 - 2

    And he's back in the game. With six turns to go, and a sparsley populated field letting either elf or rodent sprint from one end to the other quite easily, the game is not over yet.
    And yes, you read that right, five touchdowns scored in ten turns. Thats about one every two turns!
    And there was more to come.
    One more to be exact, but is the equaliser? Or the clincher?
    Let me remind you.
    I hate this fucking game.
    So the kick is made, and ably picked up by a skaven linesman in the traditional way of leaving it on the floor and allowing a TURNOVER
    The elves ably run up the field, bearing down on the exposed ball and lone skaven linesman.
    TURNOVER
    The endzone is near, its now or never. The ball is collected, its passed to a gutter runner, he runs it up the field, he passes to anotehr gutter runner, he clears the last elf
    TOUCHTRYDOWN!!!!
    4 - 2
    Oh look, there are some people on the pitch, they think its all over.
    Well it isn't there are two more turns to go.

    So there you have it. My luck has officially passed to KwiSatz, who clearly is not going to survive the day after he is involved in some sort of freak yak fatality, or at least thats how his luck is running.
    I did learn that you shouldn't bother using re-rolls with mercenaries (or, indeed, anyone with the "loner" trait)
    It was quite a tense match (despite what the final score would indicate) and could easily have gone the other way, if only Kwisatz hadn't used a ladder to knock a black cat into that mirror factory.
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    Last edited by JackRabbit; 02-10-2013 at 12:19 AM.
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      #372   Report Post  
    Old 02-09-2013, 11:35 PM
    kwisatz kwisatz is offline
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    I fucking hate this game too.
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      #373   Report Post  
    Old 02-10-2013, 05:16 AM
    kwisatz kwisatz is offline
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JackRabbit View Post
    I fucking hate this game.
    But not as much as kwisatz does!
    So the, rather more morose, Skaven team take to the field, against Kwisatz Elves (Of some description, at least they are not dwarfs) in the swealtering heat.
    this can only end badly.
    With a quater of the lineup still being met by mercenary linesmen, at least I have the services of a dedicated catcher today.
    I bet he won't miss a pick up THREE TIMES IN A FUCKING ROW!
    So the match starts, and would you adam and eve it, I get awarded a blitz!
    YAY
    THE DICE HAVE FORGIVEN ME
    ALL IS WELL IN THE WORLD
    TURNOVER.
    Idiot gutter runner barely moves two squares before he is tripped by an elf.
    End of event.
    Do not move to the endzone.
    Do not collect a touchdown.
    I hate this fucking game.
    So, sigh forming as I prepare for another drubbing when
    TURNOVER
    Kwisatz first act also results in a turnover.
    Hmm, clearly someone else has attracted the ire of the god of dice!
    Indeed with the ball still being in the open, and interestingly enough, despite me kicking, the ball landed in my own half, and is now easily retrieved by my catcher!
    He passes it to a gutter runner,
    who passes it to another gutter runner,
    who runs to within a rats whisker (see what I did there) of the end zone!
    TURNOVER
    kwisatz runs his elves back to his own half, bearing down as much as a flighty elf can, but its too late and the Skaven secure an early lead
    1 - 0
    So the second kick is in and
    BLITZ!!!!!
    AGAIN!
    Only this time the gutter runners reach deep into the heart of Elf territory and is their to catch the kick, and secure a second tounchdown next turn.
    2 - 0
    Clearly Kwisatz has provoked the gods ire far more than I have this weekend!
    So, still in the first half, the next try is the most hard fought of the game, lots of turnovers, the ball changes hands several times before an Elf Witch manages to secure kwisatz first try
    2 - 1
    Now my memory gets a bit fuzzy here, and I cant remember if the next touchdown ocured in the first or second half.
    But I do remember that KwiSatz has again angered his god, for whilst he expertly managed to floor a gutter runner, the ball then bounced out, and when it gets thrown back in, it lands, again, a rats whisker away from his endzone!
    Oh he makes a valient attempt to get an elf back to it, but its too far away, a veritable hoard of gutter runners descend on the ball, and whisk it to the endzone
    3 - 1
    So, the second half starts. With Kwisatz now fielding only seven players to my eight. The Ogre having succumbed to the heat. Not that he did much anyway, having spent the majority of the first half asleep in the middle of the field.
    He did make a very effective wall though.
    Anyhow, a two try lead, surely he can't come back from this.
    He makes a fucking good attempt. And I offer three words of advice to any future opponents of his
    Beware
    The
    Witch

    She jumps, she smashes and sidesteps her way through an entire swathe of skaven warriors to secure a second touchdown.

    3 - 2

    And he's back in the game. With six turns to go, and a sparsley populated field letting either elf or rodent sprint from one end to the other quite easily, the game is not over yet.
    And yes, you read that right, five touchdowns scored in ten turns. Thats about one every two turns!
    And there was more to come.
    One more to be exact, but is the equaliser? Or the clincher?
    Let me remind you.
    I hate this fucking game.
    So the kick is made, and ably picked up by a skaven linesman in the traditional way of leaving it on the floor and allowing a TURNOVER
    The elves ably run up the field, bearing down on the exposed ball and lone skaven linesman.
    TURNOVER
    The endzone is near, its now or never. The ball is collected, its passed to a gutter runner, he runs it up the field, he passes to anotehr gutter runner, he clears the last elf
    TOUCHTRYDOWN!!!!
    4 - 2
    Oh look, there are some people on the pitch, they think its all over.
    Well it isn't there are two more turns to go.

    So there you have it. My luck has officially passed to KwiSatz, who clearly is not going to survive the day after he is involved in some sort of freak yak fatality, or at least thats how his luck is running.
    I did learn that you shouldn't bother using re-rolls with mercenaries (or, indeed, anyone with the "loner" trait)
    It was quite a tense match (despite what the final score would indicate) and could easily have gone the other way, if only Kwisatz hadn't used a ladder to knock a black cat into that mirror factory.
    I tfucking hate this game. This is round robin with a playoff at the end?
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      #374   Report Post  
    Old 02-10-2013, 09:28 AM
    Spatula Spatula is offline
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    Jr I love reading our post match summaries.

    Maybe this may mean that I may get some luck next game if even JR can catch a break?!??!

    Nah.... I'm fucked.

    Dub? You checking here? When you want to pay fella?
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      #375   Report Post  
    Old 02-10-2013, 09:50 AM
    jon_hill987 jon_hill987 is offline
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    How close are you to season 2 now? My Halflings are itching for a fight.
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      #376   Report Post  
    Old 02-10-2013, 11:31 AM
    Acroman Acroman is offline
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    Well if there are to be halflings in the second season then I may be switching teams to Chaos Dwarves
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    Old 02-10-2013, 02:34 PM
    Spatula Spatula is offline
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    I'm thinking of switching teams too for league 2...
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      #378   Report Post  
    Old 02-10-2013, 04:11 PM
    JackRabbit JackRabbit is offline
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    Anyone who "switches to dwarfs" will automatically make my shit list!

    Has anyone tried the "realtime" mode?
    Single player obviously. I just gave it a go, its utterly mental!
    (Wouldn't recommend it as an ongoing game, but try it once!. Preferably against halflings!)
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      #379   Report Post  
    Old 02-10-2013, 04:21 PM
    Acroman Acroman is offline
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    Not just any dwarves though JackRabbit, Chaos Dwarves! They aren't quite as nasty as a normal dwarf team, honest...

    And I have tried the realtime mode, and yes it is utterly mental 8-0 scorelines are not uncommon!
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    Old 02-11-2013, 08:51 PM
    JackRabbit JackRabbit is offline
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    Now, its entirely subjective, but why is it that all dwarven teams are played by utter cunts?
    I mean. Clearly the team is overpowered, but people who play them never say hello. Don't indulge in any smacktalk, and are the ones who always ALWAYS (I'm looking at you dan you evil midget bastard) attack prone players.
    What this game needs is an objective study to see what type of person actually picks dwarves to play, and whether they should be removed as a precaution to society.
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