The best Hurk lines from Far Cry 5: Lost on Mars

Hurk Drubman fans take note: the lore and history of Hurk, already quite extensive from previous Far Cry games, is expanded upon greatly in Far Cry 5's add-on Lost on Mars (my review here). If you manage a fan page or wiki about Hurk Drubman Jr., your fingers are going to be sore from all the updating you're about to do.

once made Nick promise to help if he was ever seduced by a sexy AI
sometimes forgets to warn people about the existence of deadly space crabs
thinks his large calves make him the ideal godfather
got lost in a laser tag tunnel on his birthday and cried
gets jealous when seeing others be badasses
is just as tired of "climbing shit" in Far Cry games as we all are
blames Total Recall for lying about 'three-titted women' on Mars
isn't sure how long you can eat eggs after their sell-by date
knows in his gut that Yetis like to party, but wants confirmation
will hang out with nerds if he gets to ride on their rockets
will occasionally offer to let close friends squeeze his man boobs
likes to pet cows

What can I say? The man is an open book. Maybe it's not the fanciest book, but it's an extremely honest and forthcoming one. Long live Hurk.

Chris started playing PC games in the 1980s, started writing about them in the early 2000s, and (finally) started getting paid to write about them in the late 2000s. Following a few years as a regular freelancer, PC Gamer hired him in 2014, probably so he'd stop emailing them asking for more work. Chris has a love-hate relationship with survival games and an unhealthy fascination with the inner lives of NPCs. He's also a fan of offbeat simulation games, mods, and ignoring storylines in RPGs so he can make up his own.