The best Hurk lines from Far Cry 5: Lost on Mars

Hurk Drubman fans take note: the lore and history of Hurk, already quite extensive from previous Far Cry games, is expanded upon greatly in Far Cry 5's add-on Lost on Mars (my review here). If you manage a fan page or wiki about Hurk Drubman Jr., your fingers are going to be sore from all the updating you're about to do.

In about four minutes of extremely spoilery footage in the video above (also here on YouTube) we quickly learn that Hurk:

  • once made Nick promise to help if he was ever seduced by a sexy AI
  • sometimes forgets to warn people about the existence of deadly space crabs
  • thinks his large calves make him the ideal godfather
  • got lost in a laser tag tunnel on his birthday and cried
  • gets jealous when seeing others be badasses
  • is just as tired of "climbing shit" in Far Cry games as we all are
  • blames Total Recall for lying about 'three-titted women' on Mars
  • isn't sure how long you can eat eggs after their sell-by date
  • knows in his gut that Yetis like to party, but wants confirmation
  • will hang out with nerds if he gets to ride on their rockets
  • will occasionally offer to let close friends squeeze his man boobs
  • likes to pet cows

What can I say? The man is an open book. Maybe it's not the fanciest book, but it's an extremely honest and forthcoming one. Long live Hurk.