I've found something you need to see. We've covered the Excel World Championship before, highlighting its excellent theme song, which starts off with the immortal line:
"It's the Excel World Championship—who's going to win?"
But this year, the organisers have upped the ante. While the championship has experimented with wrestler-style intros before, in which competitors run down a tunnel to a smattering of muted applause from the Las Vegas crowd, this year, they've gone full "let's get ready to ruuuuuuumbblllleeeeeee."
"I feel like we need to get [inaudible] more pumped up in here" screamed one of the hosts mid-way through a competitor intro sequence, her voice audibly breaking with excitement. "From the United States of America," the other interjects. "Let's give it up for... Peeeeeter Scharl!"
Enter Scharl, merrily running down a neon lit tunnel holding a sign saying "I love to merge cells". The crowd boos, because, according to my data-science-au-fait partner, merging cells breaks a lot of Excel functions.
Schall appeared to enjoy the controversy, descending the glittering staircase with his hand held to his ear. It's pure showmanship, and the... let's face it, somewhat small crowd loved it.
After all the hubbub of the massively overblown, genuinely delightful intro sequences, our brave competitors sat down to get to the task of... interpreting Excel spreadsheets of various functions. Yes, the Microsoft Excel World Championship is all about the data, comprising of multiple spreadsheet-based events.
According to BBC News (no, I did not watch the full four hour livestream), in the first round, competitors are all sent an Excel file at the same time, then have to answer seven levels-worth of questions that increase in difficulty over a 30-minute window. Other rounds involve sorting jumbled data within set periods of time.
I tried watching several rounds myself, then decided it was really not for me, an Excel-ignorant plebian. I appreciate the spirit of the event overall, though, taking the mundane and blowing it up out of all proportion to create a spectacular show.
Well, the intros are spectacular, anyway. There's something wonderful about the gearshift that happens between a Las Vegas-style, WWE-alike intro for our brave competitors, followed immediately by some hot, spreadsheet-based action.
This year's winner was Diarmuid Early, who beat out the rest of the 24-player-strong lineup to win not just a trophy, but a wrestling-style belt and $5,000 in prize money. Early topped the scoreboard with 1,250 points, over 300 points ahead of the nearest competition. Early is also a five-time finalist of a financial modelling competition, which unfortunately is no longer in operation.
I bow to you, data god. You are the answer to the theme song's question, and I'd imagine that brings you great pleasure. I can only imagine what the organisers might have in store for next year. Fireworks and a small parade? Whatever, I think it's going to get a slightly bigger audience, at the very least.
1. Best gaming chair: Secretlab Titan Evo
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6. Best PC controller: GameSir G7 Pro
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