I'd never felt so out of place in Baldur's Gate 3 than earlier this week, when I finally stepped onto the streets of Baldur's Gate and promptly became the most grotesque creature in the city. Act 2 had done a real number on my party, and you could smell it from a mile away: my face was caked with blood both dry and fresh, cheeks bruised purple, and armor smeared with a hummus of mud, blood, and viscera.
Not since Dragon Age has an RPG left our faces so thoroughly be'gunked at the least appropriate moments: I've attended tense political negotiations, casually shopped for boots, and shared tender smooches with party members while the blood of the last eight things I killed hitchhiked on my face.
Ain't it a shame that Baldur's Gate 3 lets you jump, shove, throw, help, and run extra fast at any time, but there's no button for "wipe that crap off your face, there are children playing four feet away?" Thankfully, there are a few non-obvious ways to wash your face.
Baldur's Gate 3: How to clean your face of blood and mud
You won't find any formal cleaning tool or spell, but here are a few easy ways to clean up without long resting, and they all involve water.
Bottle of water
To easily clean you and your party anywhere, throw a water bottle at your feet. If you've been looting everything that looks even remotely useful, you probably have a bunch of these in your pockets already. Water bottles can't be consumed like potions or used to coat weapons like poison, but they can be thrown. Alternatively, water bottles can also douse flames and make you "wet" for a turn or two, making you resistant to fire damage.
Create or Destroy Water spell
If you're willing to burn a level 1 spell slot for a clean mug, Clerics and Druids can immediately learn the spell Create or Destroy Water. If you don't have either class in your party, you could also buy the Rain Dancer, a quarterstaff imbued with the Create Water spell, from the halfling druid vendor at the Emerald Grove. The splash from either spell is plenty big enough to scrub the whole party.
Step in any water
Stepping foot in a body of water will instantly clean you up. You usually don't have to look far in Baldur's Gate 3 to find an ankle-keep water source: Act 1 and Act 3 feature stretches of beach, though Act 2 is pretty dry. Depending on where you are, your current camp might even have a water source you can use without actually long resting.
Find the Reverse Rain Cloak
Easily the most OP cleaning device in all the Sword Coast: the Reverse Rain Cloak is a cape that makes the wearer "wet" so long as they're wearing it. Donning the cloak will instantly clean you up, and then you can switch back to whatever cloak you actually prefer. Find the Reverse Rain Cloak by spinning the prize wheel at the carnival near the beginning of Act 3.
DON'T Short rest
Before you burn one of your two daily short rests trying to clean up, don't bother. Short resting won't do the trick, but a long rest will.
The new subclasses coming in Baldur's Gate 3 are a powergamer's paradise, and I know because I've seen them do terrible work in D&D
Baldur's Gate 3 is going out with a big bang by adding 12 new subclasses, so you can finally become a drunken master or maybe just befriend some bees, along with crossplay and a photo mode
