Imagine if politics were full of monsters! Haha, no, I mean fun monsters like vampires, orcs, and goblins who use cards to hurl insults and smears at each other

An orc politician using a "harness anger" power — (Image credit: Cavalier Game Studios)

The supremely ugly situation of politics these days has put me off most forms of political pop culture. I don't want to watch movies about fictional presidents, I don't want to watch TV shows about the government, and I sure as heck don't want to play games about political wheeling and dealing.

At least until today, when I tried the demo for Prime Monster, a 'card-based political roguelike' (so the dealing is literal) where the government is made up entirely of monsters. No, not the horrible, terrifying kind of monsters we get in real life. Fun fantasy monsters like vampires, orcs, ghouls, goblins, and witches. Isn't that way more appealing than reality?

Prime Monster - Official Announcement Trailer - YouTube

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"Set in a dystopian legislature populated by werewolves, scarecrows, goblins and other ambitious creatures, players must secure crucial votes while managing scandals, rebellious colleagues and mounting political pressure in order to cling to the top job," says developer Cavalier Game Studios, makers of 2017's time-loop adventure game The Sexy Brutale.

"Whether it's the vampires ensuring that the population have the calorie content of their blood tattooed on their necks, or the zombies implementing speed limits on walking—the nation suffers just the same," the developer says.

Luckily, you're rising through the political ranks to put a stop to these horrors… so you can inflict your own horrors, battling against political opponents like trolls and witches as you gain power and defeat your opponents. Sometimes by literally killing them.

"In the parliament of the Fractured Kingdom, rational argument is not required! You can bully, blackmail, threaten and commit grievous bodily harm in order to win votes. And that's just on the members of your own party!" says Cavalier. "Whether it's doubling-down on your problematic past social media posts, accepting free samples from an arms dealer or tear-gassing your own housekeeper—you're the boss and you do things YOUR WAY."

I had a quick go at the demo, playing as a very angry orc rallying against the troll party (they're trying to pass a lot of bridge-based legislation, naturally.) Using cards that let me launch attacks against my opponent (just crass verbal attacks, at least for now), rally my party to defend me, and fill my special ability meter that lets me harness my natural orc rage, we slung political smears and outrageous statements against each other in an effort to win votes from the members of parliament.

And unlike real politics, there's actually someone trying to prevent things from going too far. The Shrieker of the House is a Grim Reaper-like ghoul that keeps a close eye on the proceedings, so if you step out of bounds by, for example, killing a member of parliament, he'll start turning his burning eye on you. Color outside the political lines a few too many times, and… well, I'm not sure what happens, because I got away with all the dirty tricks I pulled in the demo.

Despite the fantasy setting and characters, Prime Monster sinks its fangs pretty deeply into real politics. Between rounds, a journalist accused me of accepting gifts in return for political favors—this was in fact true—and in response I could have done the right thing by paying back the value of the gifts. Instead, I did what real politicians do: I smeared the journalist by accusing them of accepting bribes. Yeah, a politician accusing someone of the thing they're guilty of sure sounds familiar.

You can try the demo of Prime Monster on Steam. The full game has made a campaign promise to launch later this year.

Chris started playing PC games in the 1980s, started writing about them in the early 2000s, and (finally) started getting paid to write about them in the late 2000s. Following a few years as a regular freelancer, PC Gamer hired him in 2014, probably so he'd stop emailing them asking for more work. Chris has a love-hate relationship with survival games and an unhealthy fascination with the inner lives of NPCs. He's also a fan of offbeat simulation games, mods, and ignoring storylines in RPGs so he can make up his own.

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