Celebrity SimCity: Day 2 - Enter Notchtopia

Hepatitis Seas


Robert Bowling

President of Robotoki ● Twitter: @fourzerotwo | Web: fourzerotwo.com

Population: 16,733 ● Treasury: §3,299

Directory of Mayors: Notch Veronica Belmont Jordan Yin, Ph.D. Chris Kluwe Robert Bowling Brian Brushwood Gary Whitta Tyler Wilde

The glitz! The glamour! Hepatitis Seas relies on nobody for its service, providing its happy small-town residents with all the power, water, and seedy gambling houses it needs, as well as insubstantial sewage treatment facilities. Recently, Mayor Bowling approved mining operations, a decision he explains in a county-wide memo:

There's a budget itch that needs to be scratched in the sweaty bowels of Hepatitis Seas. Our early investment in Low End Casinos and Low Rent housing has backfired as we've been forced to take Bond after Bond to stay afloat. Relying entirely on the dirty money flowing in from our casinos and cheap rooms, which we in turn poured back into casino construction, building out Nickel Slots to literally nickel and dime our low wealth population.

Things turned rotten quick for Hepatitians as the city, much like its impoverished citizens, lived paycheck to paycheck and refused to introduce any form of law enforcement into the city. Fires engulfed the abandoned residential areas and ultimately we were forced take out further loans to invest in an honest industry of mining.

With our export business beginning to boom, pollution on the rise, and sewage backing up, Hepatitis Seas is well on its way to living up to it's reputation as the metaphoric anchor of regional prosperity! — Robert Bowling

Could we be witnessing the beginnings of a metal and alloy superpower? Only time and an abdominal ultrasound will tell.

Tyler Wilde
Executive Editor

Tyler grew up in Silicon Valley during the '80s and '90s, playing games like Zork and Arkanoid on early PCs. He was later captivated by Myst, SimCity, Civilization, Command & Conquer, all the shooters they call "boomer shooters" now, and PS1 classic Bushido Blade (that's right: he had Bleem!). Tyler joined PC Gamer in 2011, and today he's focused on the site's news coverage. His hobbies include amateur boxing and adding to his 1,200-plus hours in Rocket League.