Baldur's Gate 3's first big penis mod makes you the 'pride of the orcs'

(Image credit: Larian Studios)

As far as crotch customization in videogames goes, vanilla Baldur's Gate 3 is doing a pretty good job. There are a handful of genitalia to choose from, and whatever package you desire isn't tied to gender identity or body type. That's already infinitely more genitals than most games let you see or tweak when creating characters, but it comes as no surprise that they're just not enough for Baldur's Gate 3's burgeoning modding scene.

The first 1.0 penis mod has dropped: "Pride of the Orcs - Larger genitalia for female HalfOrc" aims to correct what novice modder HyenaDingo considers an oversight of Baldur's Gate 3.

"Increases the penis size of the uncircumcised penis option for female half orcs," reads the description. "Being the strongest of the races, the physical attributes should match that."

And boy, does it indeed up the ante. If the default character creator schlong were a hobbyist's telescope, this mod would be the Hubble. At first I thought this mod was addressing a girth disparity between the masculine and feminine body types in the character creator, but that's not the case—the default junk is the same for both body types, though this mod only "enhances" genitals on the feminine half-orc body.

So a pretty limited mod all told, but impressive for HyenaDingo's first effort, and undoubtedly the first of many mods in this category. Nexus Mods user Garinov gets to the heart of it in the comments:

"I would love to see this become a bigger project, larger genitalia for all races!"

I give it a week before that's achieved.

Surprisingly, a majority of the feedback on the mod page are requests for even longer, thicker packages. Sounds anatomically uncomfortable for an adventurer on the move, but it does speak to a general lack of granularity in Baldur's Gate 3's character creator. Sure you can pick between lots of preset faces and hairstyles, but where are the sliders? Without any way to contort cheekbones into mountainous peaks or stamp tattoos in humorous places, it's darn near impossible to make an ugly protagonist in Baldur's Gate 3. Modders, get on that.

Morgan has been writing for PC Gamer since 2018, first as a freelancer and currently as a staff writer. He has also appeared on Polygon, Kotaku, Fanbyte, and PCGamesN. Before freelancing, he spent most of high school and all of college writing at small gaming sites that didn't pay him. He's very happy to have a real job now. Morgan is a beat writer following the latest and greatest shooters and the communities that play them. He also writes general news, reviews, features, the occasional guide, and bad jokes in Slack. Twist his arm, and he'll even write about a boring strategy game. Please don't, though.