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The Textorcist is a bullet hell where typing is your only weapon

If there’s one thing the legions of Hell fear, it’s a priest with solid typing skills, at least in The Textorcist, a bullet hell game where reciting scripture is the only way to defeat projectile-spewing demons. It’s due out on February 14 because what says ‘love’ better than exorcising Satanic hordes? Take a gander at the trailer above. 

Demons have overrun Rome in an attempt to take over the Catholic Church, and ‘private exorcist’ Ray Bibbia is the only one that can stop them, mainly by typing, but also by unravelling the plot to conquer Rome. And of course he’s got a dark past just waiting to be revealed. 

Expect ten boss battles, an online leaderboard and you get to meet the Pope. The exorcisms are apparently based on real ones, so you might also want to brush up on your Latin. If you manage to get rid of demons without making any mistakes, you’ll build up your combo and eventually spell a ‘perfect exorcism’, which mainly sounds like a way to lord it over your mates in the aforementioned leaderboard. 

I have a hard enough time with regular bullet hell shooters, so I don’t anticipate being able to put much of a dent in the demonic population if I also have to type Bible passages and exorcisms, but I would have given anything for a game like this or Typing of the Dead when I was in school. Kids just aren’t taught how to exorcise demons properly, and it’s a problem. The typing stuff would probably have come in handy, too, I guess. 

The Textorcist will be available on Steam on February 14.

Fraser is the sole inhabitant of PC Gamer's mythical Scottish office, conveniently located in his flat. He spends most of his time wrangling the news, but sometimes he sneaks off to write lots of words about strategy games.