THE PCG Q&A
Find all previous editions of the PCG Q&A here. Below are some highlights:
- What's your favorite line of dialogue in a game?
- What's the most underrated game on PC?
- If you could play a sequel to any game, what would it be?
Sometimes these questions are topical, but sometimes we say 'screw it, tell us a funny story.' That time is now. Whether it's some multiplayer goofery, or a glitch that contorted your body into horrible geometries, or something else, we want to know the funniest things that have happened to you in games.
Below are some of our best stories. As always, hop into the comments to share your own, which we're sure ours will pale in comparison to.
Chris Livingston: Killall
When you use Fallout 4's 'killall' console command to take out a stupid bloodbug but there are... other casualties pic.twitter.com/LZLE7BEVkTFebruary 7, 2017
I was running around in Fallout 4, not to really play it but to take some specific screenshots, when a blood bug got in my face. I didn't really feel like dealing with the hovering, darting giant insect, so I opened the console and typed 'killall', the command that instantly kills any nearby creatures.
The blood bug wasn't the only hovering entity in the area, however. Oops.
James Davenport: A pirate's life
I suppose being an online bully isn't funny, but in Sea of Thieves, it can be the best way to play (depending on who you run in to). Tyler, Chris, and I were dinking around on the water one evening, I think after the shark update came out. We stopped caring about the shark quest an hour in, and latched onto a galleon of four seemingly matchmade strangers sailing the ocean blue. Their mics were on, and they weren't getting along. We caught glimpses of their arguments when we got close, one barking at another to steer this way not that way, while another lamented falling into the water. It felt like four high school freshman forced to do an icebreaker together. They parked nearby, and Chris decided to see if he could become a stowaway and hide on their ship while Tyler and I trailed from far behind.
We harassed them for a good while, and their typical squabbling under stress was even better. Better yet were Chris's descriptions about what they were arguing about while he hid below deck. His deadpan translations of bad jokes and teenage fury and poor attempts to meme had me rolling. It got even better once Chris started assassinating them one by one. It took way longer than it should have for them to figure out what was going on. We left them alone after a while, then ran into them once more, only for Tyler and I to hide away below deck. The poor bastards were begging us to stop. I felt like a real asshole near the end, but I suppose that's how pirates feel from time to time.
Wes Fenlon: Worms
This is definitely a you-had-to-be-there kind of story. Years ago, when my friends and I would get together for a weekend, we'd inevitably start a multiplayer pass-the-controller game of Worms and lose a few hours blowing each other up. Or, just as often, failing to blow each other up; Worms is a great game for players of widely varying skill levels, because even with years of experience I still suicide at least one worm per game with a poorly aimed grenade.
The one moment I'll never forget came when there were just two worms left, one belonging to my friend Ty, by far the best player of the group. It was his turn, and he started an acrobatic ninja rope journey across the map to take out his last remaining opponent. He was an artist. An acrobat. But tragedy can strike even the greatest trapeze artist, and Worms' erratic physics suddenly sent him careening off at a wild angle, straight into the water.
A sure victory, ruined. It's not an unusual story for Worms, but everything leading up to that moment had been perfect. He was so confident. So ready to win. Everyone was just hoping for the slip up, egging him on, but didn't really expect it to go wrong so spectacularly. He just walked away from the TV in silence for a moment as the laughter erupted, and after it calmed down, said "Everything was fine until God parted the clouds and took a deuce in my mouth." And that will forever be my favorite Worms memory.
Jody Macgregor: Securing the fort
When I was 18 a friend of mine worked at his dad's computer shop. On the weekends he'd sneak us in to play games over their LAN and eat pizza all night. We'd play various real-time strategy games, Grand Theft Auto, Diablo, a bit of Jagged Alliance: Deadly Games. One night a security guard from one of those companies who drive past your business at regular intervals saw the lights on and came in to find out what the hell was going on. We all started babbling explanations for why we were in this shop in the middle of the night and then he stopped us and looked at our screens.
"Is that Age of Empires?"
Turned out he was a huge fan. He sat down, watched us play, and we had a good chat about Age of Empires and how cool its priests were. We asked if he wanted in on the next match, but he had to get back to work. We never did get in trouble over that.
Tyler Wilde: Toxicity in our footy
I was playing Rocket League with some friends and these two players on the other team started going at it. They were so mad they were hardly playing by the end, just sitting on the field trading insults in text chat while we lazily tapped in goals. It got pretty vile, so much so that I think I reported one for making threats.
The game ended 5-1 us or something. We were planning to back out to find new opponents, but then, just milliseconds after telling each other to die, the two of them said 'gg' and readied up like absolutely nothing had happened. Imagine a basketball game in which one team spends the entire time slapping each other's faces while getting dunked on, and then turns around and says, 'Phew, good one. Again?' We were dying, though admittedly it's another 'you had to be there' story.
They kept on playing together for two or so more games, talking shit the entire time, but eventually bonding over their choice of drink (unsurprisingly, they were drunk). Everyone's got common ground somewhere.
Joe Donnelly: GTA 5 roleplay
I can't decide if this is the funniest or the most embarrassing thing that's happened to me in a game. While roleplaying in Grand Theft Auto 5 earlier this year, I auditioned for Fame or Shame—the game's answer to American Idol. I sang The Proclaimers—I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles), fought with the judges who didn't like my performance, and wound up getting stabbed by a contestant. It was all a bit of a blur, but I stand by those dulcet tones.