In case it wasn't obvious, this article is NSFW.
World of Warcraft has an extremely detailed universe, charting thousands of years of history, culture, and mythology. But for one redditor, that's not enough. To fully enjoy the fantasy of World of Warcraft, he needs to know every little detail—including, yes, the size of each races' erections and the depth of their vaginal canals.
Leggerless is a rather infamous redditor among MMO communities. For the last year, he has taken on the thankless task of charting out the dimensions of naughty bits for races in games like Final Fantasy 14 and, now, World of Warcraft. Using actual human averages based on scientific research, Leggerless applied those same principles to figure out just how big the average orc's junk is—6.07 inches to be exact.
"I... got bored," Leggerless writes in his Reddit post. "Really bored. So I decided to pull out some mathematical equations, fire up an Excel sheet, and got to work on solving this problem."
I honestly didn't realize that the lack of statistics relating to the size of fictional races' genitals was a problem, but there you go.
Leggerless' research relies on some basic assumptions. First, he uses the average height of the human male and the average size of their erect penis to come up with the "erection percentage"—the ratio determining how big your penis is compared to the rest of your body. From there, he can apply that percentage to the average height of each race to come up with their proposed erection length.
But even Leggerless has to admit it's not an exact science. "While penis height doesn't directly correlate to height, it provides an 'acceptable' measure for the human males," he writes. "[For] races such as the Tauren and Orcs, I used the humanoid measurements, because I don't believe the dimorphism [the differences in appearance between male and females] significant enough to affect measurements."
The result is a disturbingly detailed chart listing each of World of Warcraft's races' penis size when erect. Obviously the much bulkier Tauren come in on top with an erection measuring a whopping 7.76 inches. Leggerless even provides a separate chart showing the erection size based on female characters to account for any transgender, male-to-female, or futa (don't Google that last one at work).
Of course, just mapping out the penis size isn't enough for this amateur statistician. Leggerless also used a similar process to map out the depth of each race's vagina across three states, unaroused, aroused, and—oh god why—"stretched."
Again, we find the Tauren have the deepest vaginas at 5.86 inches when aroused. Interestingly enough, a gnomish aroused vagina only measures 2.41 inches, which is just over half the length of your index finger.
While Leggerless's research likely wouldn't hold up to scientific standards, it does provide a good baseline if this was information you really needed to know. Judging by the comments, however, I think most people are just bewildered and a little scared. "Every day we stray further from the Light," writes one redditor.
Leggerless does come to an interesting conclusion, however: "Interestingly enough, if you compare the sizes of the erections to the sizes of the vaginal depths, you’ll find the average vaginal depth is actually smaller than the average erection length. [I] guess that’s why they say bigger isn’t always better."
Despite what everything you might have read will lead you to believe, Leggerless does more than just map out breast and genital sizes for MMOs. His blog describes him as a theorycrafter, and he's actually tackled less NSFW lore omissions in MMOs.
I've reached out to him to find out what sent him on his noble quest and will update this story.