Miscreated diary: going shopping in corpses

As PC Gamer's resident unfinished Early Access post-apocalyptic multiplayer survival crafting game checker-outer, I just took a look at Miscreated, which is Another One of Those. Run, scavenge, eat, drink, craft, meet people, get shot by people, fight zombies, and so on. Here's a little journal of my brief adventure.

I spawn as a hipster! Huge knit cap, sunglasses, flip-flops, sour expression. I'm on a road leading to a town called Woodhaven, which hopefully has a coffee shop with non-fat locally-sourced lattes garnished with truffle shavings, or at least some artisanal pickles.

The game really looks nice: it's built in CryEngine, and it definitely beats H1Z1 in terms of visuals, not that that's really hard to do. Some of the graffiti is less than subtle, but I think that's true of almost all games.

After some looting, in which I find a little food and a tire iron, I spot a monster-thing walking around in the street. I try whomping it with my tire iron and it tries stabbing me with the pointy metal spike it has instead of a hand. When I swing, it's like I'm hitting air. When it swings, it's like it's stabbing me with a pointy metal spike. Needless to say, it wins.

I respawn in the wild, but eventually find some houses to loot. Again, the detail in this game is great. Houses are rotting and overgrown, walls covered with peeling paint, and most homes contain little bits of environmental storytelling, like this sleeping bag with a framed photo propped next to it.

I try crafting. I turn my shirt into rags. I chop a tree and try to make something with wood and some nails I found, but nothing happens. I find some spark plugs and a car battery, which I presume means there are cars that can be rebuilt. And, as is requisite, I put on a motorcycle helmet. I don't know why there are so many motorcycle hemlets in the apocalypse but so few motorcycles.

Later, while crossing a bridge, I spot a player with a cowboy hat. He's pointing a rifle at me. I try to talk to him over the mic but he doesn't answer. I take out my flashlight and click it on and off, as if he might know Morse code, even though I don't know Morse code. I still get no response from him. I figure he's either out of ammo, or is checking to see if I'm alone before shooting me.

You know what? I'm tired of being the nice guy who gets shot in these games. I'm always the earnest fellow who rushes up, all "Golly, mister! Whatcha doin'? Need some food? Any projects I can help with?" before being handcuffed or shot in the face or otherwise mistreated. I take out my axe and lay into the guy. He starts firing.

I win! Somehow! I'm hurt, but I patch myself up with my artisanal rags and loot the dead cowboy. Now I know why people play these games as psychopaths. It's one-stop shopping! A hour looting buildings got me a handful of stuff, but now I have a rifle, a pistol, ammo, food, extra bandages, a bigger backpack, and a mask. Why haven't I been doing this all along?

At the other end of the bridge, another player runs up to me. I shoot him dead without a word. Like I said, I'm done with being Helpful Apocalypse Man. He doesn't have much on him, unfortunately.

I loot a bit more, but it feels like a waste of time when I can just kill people and take their stuff. I can't find anyone else to kill, though. I decide to try another server. Gear comes with you from session to session, so I spawn into a German server with all my loot.

It's nighttime (Miscreated's day/night cycle is tied to the server's physical location) so I creep around. And creep is the right word. It is pretty creepy, especially when someone suddenly starts talking to me. A voice tells me to drop my gear or I'll be shot. I play dumb, saying I can't make out what he's saying, asking him to adjust his mic's settings, basically stalling for time while trying to locate the source.

He won't come out. As a ruse, I drop my rifle in the street—it only has one round anyway—while keeping my pistol. It works! A figure appears from a building. Unfortunately, he immediately starts shooting. Dang, shooting unarmed clueless people was going to be my thing! I bring out my pistol and return fire, but he gets the best of me.

Well, my attempt at playing as a heartless post-apocalyptic raider instead of a super-friendly tourist didn't go so well. Still, Miscreated is fun, prettier than H1Z1, and not quite as intimidating as DayZ. I think I'll be back. Maybe I'll even be nicer next time.