I can't stop making this web app read me horny Steam game reviews

(Image credit: Mario von Rickenbach)

Review Reader does what it says on the tin. It frames individual Steam reviews on a white background and reads them aloud with a random text-to-speech robot. There's not much to it and yet it brings so much life to the average Steam review. Just pop in any Steam game's store URL and have at it.

Where to next?

Grand Theft Auto 5 — (Image credit: Rockstar Games)

Best PC games: All-time favorites
Best free PC games: Freebie fest
Sims 4 cheats: Life hacks
GTA 5 cheats: Phone it in
GTA 6: Grand theft next
2021 games: This year's launches

While I started my review reading with a bunch of former Epic exclusives to hear how silly the complaints about exclusivity sounded aloud when divorced from the context of a Steam page, the depths of a Reddit thread, or any given comments section, I found true joy in the erotic game reviews.

Pair a restrained, monotone Adult Voice with the jittery syntax of a Steam review going on about how balanced the Zelda bits were with the amount of sexy succubi and you get real magic. Not every review reading is a winner, but I happily dissolved 15 minutes looking for nice matchups.

Here's a few to get you started:

Tower and Sword of Succubus
House Party
HuniePop
Being a DIK - Season 1

Review Reader was made by Mario von Rickenbach, part of the team that put out the surreal Plug & Play and Kids interactive animation games. I'm a big fan of both, so go check them out.

James is stuck in an endless loop, playing the Dark Souls games on repeat until Elden Ring and Silksong set him free. He's a truffle pig for indie horror and weird FPS games too, seeking out games that actively hurt to play. Otherwise he's wandering Austin, identifying mushrooms and doodling grackles.