Celebrity SimCity: Day 3 - Everyone poops

Tyler Wilde

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Disasters! Aliens! Sewage!

We took a brief hiatus while repair crews worked on the NA West 1 (giving us time to release a 3-page document outlining our criticisms ), but we've finally returned to PCG County . Despite unusually frequent seismic disasters and more than one sewage debacle, the region lives on: Notchtopia continues to grow, Belmonte Carlo is a playground for the rich, Hepatitis Seas is turning yellowish, and Executive Mayor Evan Lahti has now founded Texas II: Origins— this time, it's personoil.

In sadder news, urban planning expert Jordan Yin, Ph.D . has been abducted by aliens. The county hopes for the best—perhaps a Flight of the Navigator-style adventure—and has temporarily assumed governance over his city. Meanwhile, Mayor Chris Kluwe has been missing since last week. The county sheriff's office is still investigating Kluwe's disappearance, but information from an anonymous source inside the mayor's office suggests that he may have (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻.

The State of the Region

Texas II: Origins strikes oil, Blue Lake mourns the loss of its mayor, and absolutely no one, except maybe one murderer from Whitta Vista, races to the rescue as disasters strike New Tyblurg. Pretty much everyone is sick, and no one is happy.

Belmont to Brushwood: "I'm sending some poop to you"

In an official correspondence, the office of Mayor Veronica Belmont told the office of Mayor Brian Brushwood, "I'm sending some poop to you, hope that's ok." It wasn't.

Notchtopia's Clean Air Initiative

A stunning transformation: in a mere weekend, Mayor Notch has grown his small town into a mid-sized city with an accredited university. But what has fueled its growth?

See our previous reports in Day 1 and Day 2 , or go all the way back to the announcement for more about the mayors.

The State of the Region

Total Population: 669,694 ● Treasury balance: §603,899

1

It's a gorgeous day in PCG County! Well, OK, it's a pretty alright day in PCG County. On days like this, when the smog parts just a little, you can sometimes catch a glimpse of the sun scattering rays across Hepatitis Seas and bathing our already-irradiated residents with golden ultraviolet warmth. Here's what's happening.

Disaster in New Tyblurg

A blurry close-up of a child's plastic toy. Out of frame, a tornado destroys 30 homes.

New Tyblurg, pop. 159,130 — According to a city spokesperson, the sewage backup incident which completely saturated New Tyblurg with feces was caused by "a failure in the city's Alt-Tabbing systems." I'm convinced, aren't you? And though the majority of the population is now sick, there's no evidence to link their mostly-treatable diseases to sewage. Besides, there are bigger problems: an unrelenting series of disasters—tornadoes, monsters, you name it—has brought New Tyblurg to its knees (and no one wants to be on their knees in New Tyblurg right now).

The sewage problem is approximately as bad as it looks.

The worst came when an earthquake destroyed a nuclear power plant, irradiating a quarter of the city. There's little hope for salvage now, unless a team of nuclear mutants figures out a cure for dying in a puddle of sewage.

Texas II: Origins founded

An oil field drains the earth in Texas II: Origins, starring Sim Diesel.

Texas II: Origins, pop. 15,259 — Executive Mayor Evan Lahti has entered the region, bringing drilling expertise and a taste for the sweet, sweet blood of the earth. There looks to be a lot of it, so the county will continue to monitor and heavily tax Texas II as it grows—if rumors are correct, a county-wide international airport could be in the works.

Jordan Yin abducted by aliens

If only he hadn't put a crop circle-esque bullseye in front of city hall, Mayor Yin might still be on the planet.

Blue Lake City, pop. 84,499 — Mayor Jordan Yin, Ph.D. will be unable to stay in office now that he's orbiting Betelgeuse, but aerial shots of Blue Lake reveal a well-balanced city, operating with the kind of efficiency you'd expect from the only mayor in the region with urban planning expertise.

But there's a twist—a leaked memo from the mayor's office indicates Yin was already set to resign before the greys got him:

Dear Sims of Blue Lake City,

It is with a heavy heart that I announce my resignation as your founding Mayor. In the wake of the scandal involving the "questionable pictures" that have surfaced in the media, I have decided that the best act I can take to honor our fair city is step aside. Of course, many of us visited the once-great City of Herpes in our youth and perhaps foolishly assumed that "what happens in Herpes, stays in Herpes".

As I look from the Mayor's House across our beautiful city center, I take pride in having taken our city from its meager founding as a coal-darkened outpost of the Discovery Delta and, with your help my fellow Sims, what now stands before you is a city of promise that is poised to leap forward. Our population soared past 50,000 and with a count of more than 84,000 Sims, the city is headed toward becoming one of the largest in the region. We have survived tornadoes, monster attacks, and crime waves, and built a civic life that is second to none, with modern hospitals, a university, and some of the finest casinos in the Delta. And, despite some economic ups and downs, I leave behind a city that can pay its bills and has the resources to invest in the future.

—Mayor JordPlan

You'll be missed, mayor.

Belmonte Carlo unloads sewage

2

Veronica Belmont

Tekzilla/Sword and Laser host ● Twitter: @Veronica Web: veronicabelmont.com

Population: 67,071 ● Treasury: §49,696

As wealthy Sims played in Belmonte Carlo's rooftop pools, something else started to pool up. To avoid the sewage catastrophe which nearly destroyed New Tyblurg, city leadership elected to pump excess sewage into tanks and ship it to Brushwoodistanzibar. Unfortunately, the decision was made without the approval of Mayor Brushwood, who expressed his displeasure in the following correspondence.

Veronica Belmont: I'm sending some poop to you, hope that's ok.

Brian Brushwood: do NOT get that on my nice new Big Ben!!!!

A previous statement from Mayor Belmont said nothing of the impending sewage conflict, but explains some of Belmonte Carlo's financial success, and surprisingly expresses disdain for the city's wealthy residents:

Things are going well, land values are going up. Unfortunately that means my fancy pants inhabitants don't want to work the crappy jobs. Trade is booming, especially plastics from my recycling plant. Definitely in the red/green balancing act of trying to make improvements while growing. — Mayor Belmont

Brushwoodistanzibar rises

Brian Brushwood

Actual wizard ● Twitter: @shwood Web: shwood.squarespace.com

Population: 186,804 ● Treasury: §74,804

Brushwoodistanzibar was able to process Belmonte Carlo's raw sewage without issue, and Big Ben has gone un-defaced (un-defecesed?). Minor regional disputes aside, Brushwoodistanzibar is in great shape. Despite its unconventional road layout—mirrored "B"s which we can't imagine the meaning of—it has become the region's most populous city, stable at over 180,000 Brushwoodistanzibarians.

Mid-Range Casino is the city's premier destination for blue unicorns—don't let them take all the shoes and diamonds!

Notchtopia's Clean Air Initiative

2

Markus "Notch" Persson

Founder of Mojang ● Twitter: @notch Web: mojang.com

Population: 24,967 ● Treasury: §23,518

A stunning transformation: in a mere weekend, Notchtopia has grown from a small town to a mid-sized city with an accredited university. What could have fueled such growth? Why, just the freshish air gusting inland from Hepatitis Seas and spinning Notchtopia's fields of clean wind turbines!

...And also the 30 megawatts Notch is pumping in from Hepatitis Seas' coal plant. Hepatitis Seas mayor Robert Bowling had no comment on the deal between the two cities other than a phlegmy cough.

Notchtopia from the sky.
While Notchtopia was still small, a visiting mayor directed city workers to build parks. Lots of parks. It wasn't me.

That's the story so far, but we'll be back soon with another update. Our final mayor, Ashly Burch , is still on her way to the region, at which point we'll probably ask her what she's building.

If you missed them, catch up with Day 1 and Day 2 , and pull the announcement out of the county records office for more about the mayors.

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