News of World of Tanks esports league fails to break eternal tank stand-off

Two tanks fighting over a shack in the middle of a strategically useless useless field remain entrenched in spite of stirring news from HQ today. Not even the announcement of a World of Tanks esports tournament with a prize pool of $2.5m could force either crew to back down from their futile stationary stand-off, which has continued for several days and shows no sign of abating.

"I can't precisely remember how we got here, or exactly what we're fighting for anymore," said the commander of Tank A, "but I'll be damned if we're going to give a tank with the username FeelTheTankPower55 the satisfaction of a clean kill."

The barrel-to-barrel showdown means certain death for the first tank to twitch. Wargaming's VP of global operations Andrei Yarantsau tried to talk the challengers down.

“Running our own eSports league allows us to truly focus on making World of Tanks not only a compelling and challenging eSports discipline, but also one that's incredibly entertaining for spectators,” he said.

“Now we have a sustainable tool to broaden our global eSports involvement in an unprecedented way: stimulate the growth of the competitive community, organize bigger and better tournaments with larger prize pools than ever, and provide our best pro gamers with completely viable career opportunities.”

"A viable career that doesn't involve putting our lives on the line for an empty house that's of no value to anyone?" said Tank A commander, voice quivering with emotion. "A tank can dream."

FeelTheTankPower55 was contacted for comment, but only offered the following: "lololol"

The pair only have a few weeks to break the deadlock, the tournament is set to begin in "the first quarter of 2013."

Tom Senior

Part of the UK team, Tom was with PC Gamer at the very beginning of the website's launch—first as a news writer, and then as online editor until his departure in 2020. His specialties are strategy games, action RPGs, hack ‘n slash games, digital card games… basically anything that he can fit on a hard drive. His final boss form is Deckard Cain.