Wine for gamers, suggested pairings: pizza rolls, Hot Pockets

My World of Warcraft LAN parties were squalid affairs. Cartons of cigarettes, heaps of ashes. Cases of cheap domestic beer, fast food wrappers, and beer steins filled to the brim with Jack and Coke. It may have been fun, but I wished there was a way to bring class to a LAN gathering.

Enter GamerWine , further proof that these kids today have it better than my generation ever dreamed. Carefully crafted from grapes grown... somewhere, GamerWines is offering the 2008 "n00b" Merlot, 2007 "Stunlock" red, and for the "Gamer Widow" a 2008 Pinot Grigio. Perhaps you are still skeptical? Very well, then let me tell you that GamerWine is currently running a ZOMG EPIC 10% discount on all stock.

There is a wine for every gamer. For instance, even the lowly n00b can take comfort in a nice glass of GamerWine, "But while you may need to learn2play, you can still enjoy our full flavored and ripe Merlot down to the delicate notes of vanilla, fresh herbs, and long, silky finish…"

To really make the experience magical, let GamerWine be your GameSommelier and help you bring out the best in your food and drink with these tips for enjoying Stunlock : "You might as well grab a glass of our comforting red blend — savor the complex yet mild flavor, the full body and smooth finish. Put some pizza rolls in the toaster oven, relax… and wait for them to blow all their cooldowns so you can rez, run back, and mash them into a puddle..."

We still need something tasty to drink after you've washed the last of those pizza rolls down with the last drops of Stunlock. I think the world might finally be ready for my own speciality liqueur, DRMbuie: "Authenticate your taste."