'Very Handsome and Beautiful Withers' Baldur's Gate 3 mod turns your camp's ugly skeleton into a bone-ified sex symbol
Be right back, scratching "Mr Joshua Withers" over and over into my pencil case.
The various party members of Baldur's Gate 3 are, of course, staggeringly beautiful. Whether we're talking Ventrue Stewie Griffin, Reddit the wizard, or the jolly green fascist, all of them (plus all their pals) could easily take their turn on the catwalk if the mood struck them.
That goes for everyone in your camp save one. Poor old Withers, the 1-hit-point wonder who stands apart from the rest of your crew doling out revives, respecs, and resurrected minions to do your bidding when no one in the usual crew will do. While the old bag of bones has a beautiful mind, his physical appearance is somewhere between Tutankhamun and a hairless cat. I'm sure that does it for someone in the comments, but he's not likely to grace the cover of GQ anytime soon.
That is, until now. Thanks to the enterprising work of modder-slash-beautician neonbutchery, Withers can now keep up with the rest of the BG3 in the modelling leagues. Very Handsome and Beautiful Withers is a mod and self-described "cursed artifact" that, once dropped into the Baldur's Gate 3/Data folder, will turn the man himself into a veritable smoothskin: all chiseled jawlines, razor cheekbones and a set of, let's be honest, outrageously kissable lips. Just dreamy, like a sexy Easter Island head.
It's the smoothest Withers has ever been—both metaphorically and literally—and god willing ever will be. Although neonbutchery has put the mod under the "humour" section, I don't think there's anything funny about the perfection of the human form. Nevertheless, if you inexplicably want to get rid of the mod post-install, all you have to do is delete the relevant files from your Data folder, but be warned of "possible spoilers for Withers' backstory" if you go rooting around in those files yourself.
Neonbutchery included a helpful FAQ to explain just how this mod came to be on its Nexus Mods page. The number one question, "Why?" has a very simple answer: "I have access to a computer and very bad ideas." Apart from that, we also learn that nu-Withers' resemblance to Cillian Murphy is entirely coincidental, and that the lore reason for his transformation is "Botox from Volo's shady clinic located somewhere in the Lower City." Works for me. Consider this canon from now.
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One of Josh's first memories is of playing Quake 2 on the family computer when he was much too young to be doing that, and he's been irreparably game-brained ever since. His writing has been featured in Vice, Fanbyte, and the Financial Times. He'll play pretty much anything, and has written far too much on everything from visual novels to Assassin's Creed. His most profound loves are for CRPGs, immersive sims, and any game whose ambition outstrips its budget. He thinks you're all far too mean about Deus Ex: Invisible War.
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