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Roguemance, the romance roguelike about fighting blue balls, is out now

Flaunting blue balls and 'Heartipelagos' this time last year, Lucas Molina's Roguemance weaved a wonderful innuendo-driven tale of romance, relationships and fighting ex-partners with knives and forks and kisses. Love hurts, indeed.

After launching the game's alpha sign-ups last Valentine's Day, its creator promised to release in full on February 14, 2018. True as Cupid's arrow, Roguemance is out now on Steam.  

Here it is in motion:

With that, the game's Steam blurb informs us that each battle is a date wherein combat determines whether or not your aggressor is the right fit for you. Compromise or die, we're warned, while at the same time being assured everyone deserves love. En route to one lucky(?!) suitor's heart, you'll be joined by procedurally generated companions with special abilities. 

And even once you've found love, missteps might force your beau into the arms of another—and suddenly this is mirroring my awkward teenage years more than I care to admit.

After Molina shared the above ensemble of enemies last year, I ran the headline Roguemance is a love-themed roguelike about fighting blue balls. The developer has since informed me that despite his girlfriend's resistance, my choice of words made it into the trailer above. As far as legacies go, I may well have peaked.  

Happy Valentine's Day, folks. Celebrate the most romantic day of the year with Roguemance—out now on Steam for £4.49/$6.29 with a limited-time launch discount.