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I RGB'd my toilet, and you should too

Glowbowl

(Image credit: Glowbowl)

I don't have a whole lot of RGB on my PC or accessories. My Corsair keyboard glows but I'm mainly about the functionality (I can see the keys when the lights are off in my room) rather than the swirl of colors endlessly parading behind my keys. My PC's fans glow red, but I'd turn that off if I knew how (I should note that I'm too lazy to find out how). Honestly, the only light I actually want on my PC is on the power button, and my case unfortunately doesn't even have a light there.

So RGB isn't really my thing, and last year when I discovered an RGB toilet light I didn't hesitate to make fun of it on our site. This year I spotted a different toilet bowl lighting device, so I included it in our Cyber Monday deals under $50 guide as a joke (the same joke, because remember, I'm lazy).

But then I had a rare moment of honesty with myself. "Hey, this glowing toilet light is actually cool, and I genuinely want it," I decided. So I bought it (it's only $11) and it's now installed on my toilet. And it's great! I now have a Cyberpunk toilet and I'm extremely happy with it. Every time I pee, I'm peeing into the future. I don't just poo, I cyberdump.

The device is, essentially, a motion activated night light. You clip it onto your bowl and point the sensor at the door. It detects movement so when you walk in and it's dark, your toilet begins to glow.

For trips to the bathroom at night, it's much nicer than turning on the light. My Cyberpotty's glow isn't blinding, so it won't mess up my night vision when I'm done and have to walk back to bed through the darkened house. And it's preferable to standing or sitting in the complete darkness, too. (Though while sitting, most of the light is blocked out. By my ass).

Since the light doesn't turn on during the day, and only activates when someone walks into the bathroom in the dark, it'll presumably have a nice long life from the three AAA batteries it runs on (not included).

(Image credit: Chunace)

There's also a strange comfort to the soft glow of the water. Yes, I realize it is glowing toilet water, but in addition to feeling futuristic there's some sort of nostalgic memory it triggers, too. Maybe I'm dimly recalling the pool at our house growing up that had a light we could turn on at night, which made swimming a sort of magical-feeling experience.

Do I want to swim in my toilet? Not really, but also, kind of?

My new Cyberpotty has some nice options, like the ability to pick one of seven different colors, with several brightness levels for each. You can even set it to alternate colors every few seconds. With the colors alternating, my glowing toilet more reminds me more of Christmas than science fiction, but having a holiday theme when you take a dump isn't such a bad thing, either.

A few downsides to be aware of should you buy this toilet light (which you really should). First, having a light shining inside your toilet is a good way to display how maybe your toilet isn't quite as clean as it really should be. Second, the light turns off pretty quickly once it stops detecting motion, so if you're gonna be sitting there for a while in the dark with a cyberlight shining on your butt, you're gonna need to wave your hand in front of the sensor pretty regularly to keep it turned on. It's sort of like this place I used to work, where the break room had automatic lights, so I'd be eating there alone and the lights would go off and I'd have to wave my arms until the sensor saw me so I could continue eating with the lights on like a real person instead of feeling like a raccoon hurriedly eating some trash in the dark.

I like my glowing toilet. We never got flying cars or hover boards or moon colonies or AI for our houses that welcomed you home and asked about your day. At least my toilet takes me to the future, even if the rest of my house doesn't.

Chris has a love-hate relationship with survival games and an unhealthy fascination with the inner lives of NPCs. He's also a fan of offbeat simulation games, mods, and ignoring stories in RPGs so he can make up his own.