They say that if you stare into the mad eyes of Far Cry 3 villain, Vaas, for too long then you lose all sense of time and language. I'm not sure that's true. I've been staring into his eyes for the last few minutes trying to think of an intro and oogle bloogle barble blom.
We put Vaas on our cover this month to spread the madness and let the world know about our six page Far Cry 3 preview. The third game in the series will revisit the beautiful tropical setting of the first game and this time not everyone on the island will be a respawning homicidal maniac. Subscribers have had the issue for about a week already, but it should be hitting shop shelves as you're reading this. This month all of our readers get a key that will grant access to the excellent Tribes: Ascend beta, and six pounds worth of World of Tanks cash.
There's plenty more inside, of course. Our huge tips feature is packed full of moderately worthwhile advice that will threaten to catapult your gaming skills into the realm of slightly above average. Graham's been seeing aliens, too. Partly because he's been out to see XCOM: Enemy Unknown, but mostly because he spent too long staring at Vaas when designing the cover. Read on to discover what else lies in wait in issue 237.
We've overclocked our trio of captive precogs with extra lightning this month and pointed them at the future to gain leads on the games of tomorrow. Our finest wordsmiths have spent weeks interpreting their visions and returned with previews of Hitman: Absolution, Ridge Racer Unbounded, Gettysburg Armoured Warfare, War of the Roses, Microsoft Flight and Max Payne 3.
In reviews this month, we deliver verdicts on The Darkness 2, Dear Esther, Earth Defence Force, Flatout 3: Chaos & Destruction, X-Plane 10, Race Injection, Home Sheep Home 2, Real Warfare 2: Northern Crusades, QUBE, Total War: Shogun 2 DLC, Unity of Command, Steel Armour: Blaze of War, Swift*Stitch, X3: Albion Prelude, Winter Sports 2012, Satazius, Fate of the World: Tipping Point, Pirates of the Black Cove: Origins, Duke Nukem Forever: The Doctor Who Clones Me, Space Marine: Chaos Unleashed DLC and Postal 3.
With the future and the present dealt with, we called in Jon Blyth to take his critical axe to the latest re-releases in They're Back. Prototype, Gothic 3, Time Commando, Demigod and Desperados 2: Cooper's Revenge. Meanwhile, in this month's Extra Life, raids are wiped in The Old Republic, gonads are thoroughly kicked in Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, Tom Francis tries to make it through Skyrim using nothing but the power of illusion and Chris Donlan grudgingly masters arcade shooter Jamestown.
There's tons more. Chris Thursten mourns the loss of Star Wars: Galaxies and reflects on the three years he spent building a character, only to see him squashed to death in the end by a giant Ewok. We've taken a look at military simulators in this month's special report and Adam's rounded up the best PC cases out there in this month's hardware review.
Issue 237 will be hitting shops now. You can also buy it online, download a copy through Zinio or read it on your iDevices with our Apple Newsstand edition . If you fancy getting the latest issue earlier, cheaper and wrapped in a special cover, you can subscribe .