Save 94% on these PC air dusters that are pretending they used to be $600 and 'SAY GOODBYE TO AIR CAN'

In the essay 'Politics and the English Language' George Orwell memorably described the purpose of political speech as being "to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind". Such thoughts came to mind as I embarked on a Prime Day search for an air duster, having reluctantly concluded that my Razer Blade could probably do without all of those crumbs and dust wedged under the keys.

• We're curating the best Prime Day PC gaming deals right here.

One deal immediately stood out as special: indeed, you could call it a discount for the ages. Step forward the mighty TRANSWARRIOR, a company that offers a compressed air duster for PC cleaning at an unbelievable 94% discount. Which I mean in the sense that, if you believe this thing ever sold for just shy of $600, I have a bridge for sale you may be interested in.

The product name is in that Amazon listing style of an unholy conglomeration of the words "compressed", "air", "duster", and various PC references. So I'm just going to call it a compressed air duster: behold!

was $599.99 now $34.99 at Amazon

Compressed air duster| 100000RPM | $599.99 $34.99 (save $565)
Wow! It's time for dust to go the way of the Dodo and not just when it comes to your PC: this thing will blow air on anything, and there's even a helpful list in the product description. "Plant, car, pet hair, fans, lily windows, swimming rings, yoga balls, steamboats, air mattresses, etc." It does it all! The jet fan boasts five nozzle attachments, three brushes, and comes complete with LED lighting for darker spots. And most important of all: "you will never need to buy canned air ever again." Take that to the bank, along with your apparent $565 saving.

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Is that the best we can do? Hell no baby, because what's better than a 100000RPM air duster? A 180000RPM air duster with extra neon elements photoshopped onto the image at 93% off!

was £599.99 now £44.99 at Amazon

Compressed air duster Mk. 2| 180000RPM | $599.99 $44.99 (save $555)
Basically the same as the last one, except for the extra ten bucks you get all the above but with an eyebrow-fluffing 180000RPM of pure air power. Wield the winds like Aeolus, send those crumbs to meet their maker, and enjoy endless fun with family pets and small children. And remember: "you will never need to buy canned air ever again." Because you are now air manifest, a god, jet-blasting all the crud of the world to kingdom come, and watching 555 dollar bills flutter in the sunlit breeze.

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I hope that my slight scepticism about the discount on offer here has come across: I don't believe for a second any human being has ever bought one of these things for $600, and neither should you. This is an unfortunately common practice on Amazon generally, not just on Prime Day, and does make it hard to judge whether you're actually getting any kind of discount at all: never mind a good one.

But what can be said about these two air dusters is that they're definitely hitting the lower end of where these things are priced, and with the kind of features you want (mainly three variable speeds, a light, and various attachments for blasting nooks and crannies). And we're not talking about buying a 4070 laptop here: the customer reviews for both devices average out at around four stars and are generally positive about the devices, while Amazon's ever-helpful AI summary tells us that "customers like the dust blower for its ability to clean dust and dirt out of places."

The only hesitation I'd have is there doesn't seem to be a manufacturer's warranty listed anywhere, which I'd consider standard with an electronic, but there is of course Amazon's 30-day no quibbles period.

And anyway, you're buying this for another reason. The tagline nails it: "SAY GOODBYE TO AIR CAN!"