Oblivion Remastered's latest patch stealthily fixed the most lore-breaking door in videogames

Lucien Lachance, a Dark Brotherhood member in a black hood and robes, gives a rictus grin into the camera.

(Image credit: Future)

Oblivion Remastered's first couple of patches have been, shall we say, a little underwhelming. Some bugbears have been tinkered with, but player performance woes still abound and players (and most importantly, I personally) still have a bunch of quality-of-life fixes they'd like to see implemented, even if they're running the game's 1.2 patch, currently in Steam beta.

So if you're still running into random frame stutters as you traverse Cyrodiil, my condolences. But take heart, because that latest Oblivion Remastered patch has at least fixed one error that was keeping me awake at night: the Dark Brotherhood's historically inaccurate front door.

As you'll no doubt recall, when Oblivion Remastered released, the Brotherhood's imposing entryway had a couple of issues. First: it had lost the ominous red glow that—in 2006's Oblivion—bathed the hallway in eerie light, which really handicapped the vibe. Second: the Night Mother had apparently had two extra kids when no one was looking. The relief on the door illustrates a scene from Dark Brotherhood history: that time Night Mum took a knife to the five kids she had with Sithis, which is probably not Adele Faber-approved parenting.

But the door at launch featured seven kids, inexplicably, leading more than a few lore nerds to question just what was going on there. Turns out it wasn't a retcon or a delicious tweak to the existing lore—some poor texture artist just got a bit baby-happy. As of patch 1.2, the total kid count on the door is back to a lore-accurate five, though no one deigned to mention it in the patch notes. Are you relieved? I'm relieved.

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The Dark Brotherhood door, unlit and featuring a lore-inaccurate seven children. — The pre-1.2 door.(Image credit: Bethesda)

No, really, I kind of am. It's the most persnickety nerd gripe in the world, but I'm a persnickety nerd professionally, and the fact that Bethesda and Virtuos are paying attention to the kinds of gripes that a slim minority of hopelessly UESP-pilled players will ever bring up strikes me as a genuinely positive sign for Oblivion Remastered going forward.

Sure, it's probably not more important than fixing those dodgy framerates that are spoiling the fun for so many players, but I suspect it's a lot easier to fix. Now we just need someone to fix the busted gag on the Lelle's Quality Merchandise store sign and I'll finally be able to sleep without nightmares.

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One of Josh's first memories is of playing Quake 2 on the family computer when he was much too young to be doing that, and he's been irreparably game-brained ever since. His writing has been featured in Vice, Fanbyte, and the Financial Times. He'll play pretty much anything, and has written far too much on everything from visual novels to Assassin's Creed. His most profound loves are for CRPGs, immersive sims, and any game whose ambition outstrips its budget. He thinks you're all far too mean about Deus Ex: Invisible War.

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