Most people never even finish Enter the Gungeon—according to its Steam achievement stats, only 14 percent of owners have defeated the final boss—so it's always dazzling to see experts clear it with flying colors. It's a popular game at speedrunning events like this year's Summer Games Done Quick, in part because you never know what you're going to get. Sadly, this year's SGDQ Gungeon speedrunner, Teddyras, got screwed.
And to think, it started off so well: after hitting a donation milestone, Teddyras and his character of choice, Bullet, both donned pink bunny suits. Teddyras explained that he likes Bullet because he's one of the "safest" characters and because he likes his starter weapon, the sword Blasphemy. "If I need to, if I get bad weapon drops, I can just stick with the sword," he said at the start of his run. Apparently the universe took that as a challenge, because Teddyras went on to get some of the worst drops I've ever seen, let alone in a live speedrun.
The first boss gives him a crappy shotgun that Teddyras doesn't even stop to pick up. The second boss shows some mercy and drops a Science Cannon, a decent but by no means stellar laser. Feeling desperate, Teddyras sacrifices some time to open a chest on the third floor, only to pull the Gungeon Ant, one of the worst weapons in the game. To add insult to injury, the third boss doesn't even drop a weapon, and it's just downhill from there. Instead of the hearts Teddyras desperately needs, the fourth boss—which, incidentally, is immune to the Gungeon Ant—drops another crappy weapon. Teddyras' run comes to an end at the hands of a tough enemy shortly afterward, just shy of the final boss.
From floor layouts in Spelunky to item drops in Risk of Rain, we've all been crushed by RNG in some roguelike or other. Teddyras is ranked third on the official Enter the Gungeon leaderboards, but even a player of his caliber can't overcome that kind of bad luck.
The crowd loved him, though, so the SGDQ organizers gave him another shot. His second run went much smoother thanks to perfect clears on the first four bosses, but sadly Teddyras wasn't able to topple the High Dragun in the end. It's a reminder of the pivotal role RNG can play in a good speedrun.
And still, it was an impressive performance for a good cause. Bravo, Teddyras, you beautiful pink bunny.
