Duke Nukem (or at least his voice) is now available for weddings

(Image credit: 2K)

While it may not be as life-defining an event as it used to be, your wedding day should always be special. And what's more special than having the gravelly baritone of Jon St. John—the one and only voice of Duke Nukem —declaring you husband and wife. Or husband and husband. Or wife and wife? It's 2019; it's all good.

I'm still torn on whether getting married by Duke Nukem would be a funny story to share with your kids decades later, or a terrible secret to take to the grave, but either way it's a thing that can theoretically happen now, thanks to Jon St. John becoming an ordained minister. Truly, a man of many talents.

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He's even confirmed via Twitter that he's willing to switch character. Duke Nukem is all well and good if you're dealing with an alien invasion and/or abducted bikini babes, but not really my go-to for weddings, especially after Duke Nukem Forever. I'd much rather be wed by the eternally blank (but friendly) Big The Cat from Sonic Adventure, one of St. John's lesser-known roles. Or failing that, Mega64's totally unofficial Doug Huggem.

This raises a good few tangential questions. If you could pick any game voice actor to hold your ceremony in character, who would you pick. While Big The Cat would be hilarious, I can't help but feel that Deckard Cain from Diablo would convey the right tone. Just make sure everyone leaves after the rings and smooches are exchanged, no matter how much he asks you to stay a while and listen. Who would you pick?

Dominic Tarason
Contributing Writer

The product of a wasted youth, wasted prime and getting into wasted middle age, Dominic Tarason is a freelance writer, occasional indie PR guy and professional techno-hermit seen in many strange corners of the internet and seldom in reality. Based deep in the Welsh hinterlands where no food delivery dares to go, videogames provide a gritty, realistic escape from the idyllic views and fresh country air. If you're looking for something new and potentially very weird to play, feel free to poke him on Twitter. He's almost sociable, most of the time.