Do you have a spot in your living room that would be perfectly tied together by a big-ass statue of an angry, sweaty witcher who's just wrapped up a rough day at work? If you think that maybe you do, today is your lucky day: Prime 1 Studio is now offering just such a thing, and it can be yours for the low, low price of $1449.
The 1/3 scale monument is constructed of "polystone and other materials," stands roughly three feet in height with a maximum diameter of just under two feet, and weighs about 57 pounds. Geralt's right hand grips his "iconic" monster-killing silver sword, while in his left are the recently severed heads of a trio of harpies who made the mistake of messing with him. He's wearing his classic Kaer Morhen armor, and stands upon a base emblazoned with a large, LED-lit Wolf School medallion.
The pièce de résistance of this massive slab of man is the swappable head, enabling a Geralt for every mood. Four unique heads are included:
- Sexy Geralt (technically "Normal Geralt" but really, what's the difference?)
- No-Beard Geralt
- Hearts of Stone Mark Geralt
- Toxicity Geralt
"This is the first 1/3 scale Geralt statue and this scale perfectly conveys the aura and the strong presence that Geralt has," the listing states. "We have worked very hard to merge the elements of the videogame, along with our advanced 3D modeling and design to bring you the very best Geralt of Rivia statue of all time."
I mean, just look at it.
I won't lie—I kind of want one. I'm an unironic sucker for game swag and this is absolutely next-level stuff. I wouldn't spend $1500 on it, and I'm quite sure I wouldn't be allowed to put it in the living room (or anywhere else in the house that somebody might see it), but if you were to come at me with a $400 offer and a little room to negotiate, I'm thinking that we could probably make a deal.
If $1500 for the deluxe model is a little out of reach, a standard edition with non-swappable heads is also available for the bargain price of $1299. Either way, you're going to have to lay out some money up front if you want one: Preorders require 10 percent down, with the remainder payable on shipment. Also note that this Geralt of Rivia statue is based on The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt and not the Netflix series, which may or may not be a plus depending on how you feel about Henry Cavill watching over every move you make.