Geralt, the Witcher, will soon embark on a brand new adventure as the star of a musical theatrical production in the Polish city of Gdynia. And this isn't some rinky-dink daycare project held on a Saturday morning in someone's back yard, either. Eurogamer reports that the production will have up to 51 performers—actors, dancers, and acrobats—on the stage at a time, while a full orchestra provides the music.
The Google-translated announcement says it's the first musical based on Andrzej Sapkowski's Witcher stories, a claim that I have no problem believing. The show has a three-and-a-half hour running time—one break, so smoke 'em if you got 'em—with 20 performances in total, in November, January, February, March, and May. And it carries an "age preference" of 15+, which means it'd be pretty much a hard-R in North America.
The promo video feels a little weird—that head on a platter really comes out of nowhere—but it's also very elaborate, which speaks to how seriously the project is being taken. And why not? It's not as though musicals have a long and well-grounded history of being serious entertainment for serious people. They're all about spectacle—drama, conflict, and a little bit of sex—and that's something The Witcher has in spades.
Cool poster, but needs more bathtub.