Your Far Cry 5 companions hang out at a pizza joint together when you're not with them

A while back I spent three days following my Skyrim wife, Mjoll the Lioness, after dismissing her as a follower because I was curious if she would really walk all the way from Solstheim to our house in Solitude (she did, with some adventures along the way). I had the same curiosity about my Far Cry 5 followers—when I dismiss them, do they legitimately find their way back to their respective homes?

The answer is: sort of. But instead of going home, your human followers usually go to a pizza joint where they hang out together. All of them. Without you. Status update: my feelings are hurt.

The first companion I tested was Cheeseburger the bear. I took him to a distant spot on the map, then released him and ran after him to see if he would run all the way back to the Fang Center (his home/prison) or if the game would simply cheat and teleport him there. It took a few tries—he stopped at a couple cliff edges, unable to climb down, and he also gave me the slip a few times (he's fast and I ran out of speed-enhancing drugs). I did, eventually, tail him all the way back to his cage at the Fang Center, and then decided to try the same thing with a human companion.

First, I took sniper Grace Armstrong to the Seed farmhouse, then dismissed her. She hopped in a van and sped off, and I followed in a car. She eventually stopped at an abandoned silo and just stayed there, occasionally walking around but otherwise just hanging out alone.

But then I tried the same with archer Jess Black, and that's when I discovered all of my companions like to hang out with each other when I'm not around. Jess hopped into my car at the Seed farm (I was forced to follow in a much slower van, but managed to keep up) and after a while she pulled over at a pizza place. I thought at first it was because there were a couple cultists and a cougar fighting nearby, but once they were dead, Jess went inside. And then so did I.

In the pizza place was every other human companion in Far Cry 5. All six of them, including Grace, last seen at a silo, where she may have led me to avoid spoiling their secret hangout. They're all just chilling in this pizza joint, chatting, walking around, exercising, cleaning their weapons. And, like, that's cool, it's a nice little Easter egg, all your companions relaxing in the same spot. Even Nick, the pilot is there, actually spending some time without his plane (though if you assign him as a companion while you're there, he still talks to you as if he's on his airplane radio).

At the same time: ouch. It's like finding out every single one of your friends made dinner plans and didn't invite you. I can't help but feel a little hurt. I invite them along when I need to blow up an outpost and treat them like human fodder, and dismiss them when they get too chatty. Why wouldn't they include me in their plans? Hm, maybe I just answered my own question.

The place is called 8-Bit Pizza Bar, and you can find it just west of the prison in the Henbane River region of the map if you want to. Or maybe just let those jerks hang out in their crummy club for losers. I don't care. I didn't even want to have pizza with them anyway.