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Valve shows off new Artifact cards with MS Paint style placeholder art

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Artifact completely bombed when it released in 2018, but Valve is making progress on an attempted resurrection of the failed card game. Today, it released an update discussing what new players can expect and how it will take care of "founding players," whose collections won't be usable in the rebooted game. But the real reason we're here is the half-dozen updated cards Valve revealed today, and more precisely the placeholder art that looks like it was drawn with MS Paint during somebody's break.

Valve said in the update that it is currently focused purely on remaking Artifact's gameplay, and warned that "it's not going to look polished because we're going to be changing things a lot during this process based on feedback and data." And wow, it is not kidding: Check out, as Valve described it, "this sweet placeholder art."

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(Original art included)

(Original art included) (Image credit: Valve)
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(Original art included)

(Original art included) (Image credit: Valve)
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(Image credit: Valve)
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(Image credit: Valve)
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(Image credit: Valve)
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(Image credit: Valve)

For all I know, some of these are straight-up gags. Mirana and Wraith King, at least, are legitimate Artifact cards, but Defenstrating Ogre? Really? April Fools was last week, right?

It's no weirder than this guy, I suppose. 

Getting away from the eye-catching art, Valve said in the update that it's kicking around ideas for "incredibly cool and special things" for Artifact founders, but isn't ready to move ahead with them yet. It also invited players to send feedback letters to artifactbetafeedback@valvesoftware.com, and promised that it's "going to read all of them." There's no word on when Artifact might make its grand re-entrance, but Valve is clearly serious (except for the placeholder art) about making it happen.

Andy has been gaming on PCs from the very beginning, starting as a youngster with text adventures and primitive action games on a cassette-based TRS80. From there he graduated to the glory days of Sierra Online adventures and Microprose sims, ran a local BBS, learned how to build PCs, and developed a longstanding love of RPGs, immersive sims, and shooters. He began writing videogame news in 2007 for The Escapist and somehow managed to avoid getting fired until 2014, when he joined the storied ranks of PC Gamer. He covers all aspects of the industry, from new game announcements and patch notes to legal disputes, Twitch beefs, esports, and Henry Cavill. Lots of Henry Cavill.