Posing as a lord and infiltrating a bandit camp in Kingdom Come’s romantic new DLC

Some spoilers for the opening of the Amorous Adventures of Bold Sir Hans Capon follow.

One of the standout characters in Kingdom Come is undoubtedly Hans Capon. He makes a terrible first impression, the very picture of a stuck-up, self-regarding lord. But over time he warms to you and reveals himself to be a charismatic, thoroughly likeable character—something Warhorse was clearly aware of, as they’ve made the hedonistic, wine-loving heir to the Rattay throne the focus of its latest paid-for DLC expansion.

The Amorous Adventures of Bold Sir Hans Capon, to give it its full, unwieldy title, can be accessed after completing the quests Next to Godliness and Robber Baron. Capon will tell you about a woman in Rattay he’s fallen for, and asks for your help in wooing her—without her knowing. Keeping your love for a woman secret, Capon tells me, is all the rage in France, and he wants me to help him win her heart secretly. The first stage of which is recovering a family heirloom, a necklace, that he lost in a drunken dice game.

I travel to the tavern in Ledetchko where Capon lost the necklace, but the local dice champion tells me he already lost the heirloom to a fancy-looking chap who was last seen at a river crossing near the town of Sasau. I travel to Sasau and comb the river for clues until I find the nobleman in question—murdered and, importantly, no longer in possession of the necklace. The savage nature of the killing leads me to believe bandits were responsible.

As I’m investigating the crime scene, a well-spoken man calling himself Sir Anselm of Domky emerges from the woods and tells me the nobleman was killed by bandits, and that they have a camp set up nearby. I instinctively reach for my sword and get ready for a bit of brigand slaying, but Anselm has a more subtle plan in mind. He asks me to pose as Alphonse, the dead man, and infiltrate the camp to find out who the killer is—and maybe find that necklace I’m looking for in the process. I agree to help him and sheathe my sword.

Making sure I know enough about Alphonse to deal with any questioning in the bandit camp, I grill Anselm about the dead man. Where he hails from, the lords he’s served, things he enjoys. Apparently he’s a keen dice player (no surprises there) from Slany and once worked for Prokop of Luxembourg. I make a mental note of these details, hoping they’ll save my skin later on, and get ready to pose as Alphonse. But there’s one problem: I look like shit. I’m wearing a raggedy shirt and a ramshackle collection of battered armour. It’s obvious I’m no lord.

I visit my house in Rattay and access my stash, where I have heaps of clothes and other junk I’ve pilfered and purchased over the course of the game. I find a fashionable cap with a feather in it, some nobleman’s hose, other assorted finery, and suddenly rustic, battle-scarred Henry looks like a prancing toff. Capon would be proud. I also stop in at the bathhouse to clean myself up and get a fresh new haircut and beard trim. Satisfied I no longer look like a peasant, I head to the bandit camp and announce myself to the guard.

Immediately I’m glad I quizzed Anselm about Alphonse. The guard asks where I’m from, assuming Prague, and I confidently correct him, saying I’m actually a native of Slany. He lets me in, but tells me that the bandit leader—presumably Alphonse’s killer—is busy, and that I should play some dice to pass the time. As I explore the camp and eavesdrop on the foul-mouthed bandits, I learn that the champion of a dice tournament wins a precious necklace: the very same one that once belonged to Capon before he foolishly lost it.

I throw 1000 groschen into the pot and enter the tournament, but I absolutely stink at Kingdom Come’s dice minigame, and I lose spectacularly. But I have another plan in mind. I ask the tournament organiser who won, and he tells me it’s a guy called Pechuna. I corner him and congratulate him on his victory, and consider buying the necklace off him or pickpocketing it while he sleeps. But where’s the fun in that? Instead I ask him how he’ll be celebrating, and he tells me he’s walking through the woods to Sasau to drink. Walking through the woods. Alone. With the necklace I need in his pocket.

I follow Pechuna through the trees until we’re well away from the camp, then I pull out my sword and run it through him. He has no armour, and he doesn’t know I’m there, so the ‘fight’ is over in seconds. Then I grab Capon’s necklace, which will help the cocky lord begin his quest to win the heart of that lovely lady in Rattay. A nice final detail: as I look through Pechuna’s possessions I notice that he’s carrying loaded dice. The swine cheated! I mean, he is a bandit, but what about honour among thieves? Suddenly I don’t feel too bad about stabbing him in the back and leaving him to rot in the forest.

I’m immediately won over by The Amorous Adventures of Bold Sir Hans Capon. This is a brilliantly constructed opening quest with a lot of different outcomes. And while Kingdom Come can often be quite self-serious, this DLC seems, so far, a lot more light-hearted. I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes next, and what trouble Capon’s romantic quest will undoubtedly get us both in. The DLC is out now and costs £8/$10. We’ll have a full review up on the site soon. And next time you decide to try and swindle someone in a dice game, make sure they don’t have a sword stuffed down their silky pantaloons.