Next Crusader Kings 3 patch means fewer jester hats, spectral children

A medieval noble wearing a silly hat with bells on it from the game Crusader Kings 3.
(Image credit: Paradox Interactive via bluewaff1e on Imgur)

Crusader Kings 3 has a small update coming this week, currently in open beta on Steam, and set to release on June 22nd barring any major bugs, that fixes some problems with the foremost medieval sim's big 1.4 patch. That patch released on June 8th, with some pretty good stuff going on like new haircuts and hats, as well as some game mechanics changes or whatever like dynamic garrisons.

About those hats, though: There was a Jester's Hat. Too many people were wearing that hat. I saw, like, a whole family wearing that hat at the same time the other day. The jester's hat has been nerfed: "Jester hat will be less fashionable after 1300 and thus, won’t used by the majority of the characters anymore."

Elaborate simulation games always get the best patch notes, and while Dwarf Fortress is an all-time champion the Crusader Kings games have, over the years, really given DF a run for its money. Crusader Kings 3 is no different.

Here are a couple others that I like:

  • Fixed the faith character list potentially overflowing and crashing the game due to dead people pretending to be alive
  • Characters with an opinion above 80 will properly leave factions
  • The Decision Develop Capital cannot be done by a child anymore
  • Dead children should not show up anymore during Meet Peers events

Damn ghost children, always trying to show up when I'm meeting my Peers. You can read the full 1.4.2 beta patch notes on the Crusader Kings 3 Forums.

For more funny patch notes, you should go check out the roundup from March's 1.3 patch, which is one of the best so far for hilariously-worded updates.

Jon Bolding is a games writer and critic with an extensive background in strategy games. When he's not on his PC, he can be found playing every tabletop game under the sun.