Crusader Kings II 2.0 patch notes are as hilariously out of context as ever

With the Sons of Abraham expansion for Crusader Kings II arriving next week, the medieval strategy sandbox will also receive the massive 2.0 patch. Heralding the arrival of what Paradox Development Studio calls "phase two" of the game's expansion and DLC cycle, 2.0 has one of the longest change lists of any patch the game has ever received. In addition to Steam achievements, workshop support, Ironman mode, and the replacement of the dismal metaserver-based multiplayer, the patch notes are also laden with the usual, hilarious-sounding fixes you only find in Crusader Kings.

The most entertaining pulls from the patch notes include:

  • Characters of a religion where priests are not allowed to marry will now divorce their wives if ordained
  • Fixed some bugs with how dead spouses are handled
  • Fixed a bug where dead popes would have the incorrect character portrait
  • Changes to the bastard children of Antso IV of Navarra
  • AI: Will no longer accept giving away women as concubines to characters whose religion they will not intermarry with
  • Modding: Added "evil_god_names" to religions, to be used in event texts
  • Modding: Added trigger 'any_spouse_even_if_dead'

Other highlights include a change to enemy war AI to put it more in line with Europa Universalis IV—AI armies will form "hunter-killer" stacks focused on winning battles rather than taking land, and will take army composition into account when engaging in battle (rather than just numbers). The CK2 to EU4 converter is also being updated to import the new Jewish religion and cultures, as well as unique ideas for Jerusalem, the Knights Templar, and the formable Kingdom of Israel.

You can read the full patch notes and a dev diary detailing the patch on the Paradox forums.