The most delightfully inessential Cities: Skylines mods
Cities: Skylines mods let us do amazing things. We've customized our cities with pieces from the 17,000+ props and 20,000+ maps on the Steam Workshop. We've driven around on street level and walked the sidewalks in first person. We've celebrated some of the most inspiring mods and creations the community has to offer.
But out of those thousands and thousands of mods, there have to be some that just aren't quite amazing, right? Some mods that make you tilt your head and wrinkle up your nose and go, "Huh." We decided to go on a hunt for these unsung props and maps, and this is what we found: 11 Cities: Skylines mods that you absolutely don't need, and will probably never, ever install.
Yellow Curve 3
Why would you click this download link
Yellow Curve 1 was a good curve, and it was yellow. But was it yellow enough, and curve enough? It seems not. It seems we needed another curve to fill that role. Thus Yellow Curve 2 was born, just as yellow, and yet even more curve. But still, modder Beardmonkey was not satisfied. And lo: Yellow Curve 3, the most yellow curve of them all.
Clown Head Remover
Why would click this download link
Jumbo ice cream cones? Wanna eat 'em up. Giant doughnuts? Delightful! Clown heads? Whoa whoa whoa. Hold the damn phone. Not in this city, pal. Unlike more general prop remover mods, this one has a singular and pure vendetta against red-nosed busts. If you really hate clowns, even tiny ones scattered around a digital city have to go.
No On-Street Parking
Why would you click this download link
No one really likes to parallel park, but this seems a bit extreme.
2ch for Chirpy
Why would you click this download link
Hm, what would make Chirpy less annoying? How about making it post messages from Japan's 2ch message board? Yeah, that'll definitely solve the problem.
No Tree Dirt & Remove Dirt
Why would you click this download link
Trees in Cities: Skylines just have this yucky natural thing to them. There's, like, dirt and stuff when you place them, as if to show that they grow out of the soil. This mod is having none of that, and removes any sign of dirt for pristine ground across your entire city. Another mod goes even farther, removing dirt from around picnic benches and other objects, too. Begone, foul peat.
No Seagulls
Why would you click this download link
Fuck birds.
Hipster Music Pack
Why would you click this download link
Listen, I want to add some more music to Cities: Skylines, but I don't want it to be music you've ever heard of. I've never even heard of it. I found them by typing random letters into Soundcloud URLs and throwing out any album results that didn't sound like a brand of organic air freshener. Install this mod, and you are now cool.
45 variations of the Urban Working Class house
Why would you click this download link
This is either a damning commentary on the sameness of urban housing, or modder Jimbobbedyjobob is obsessed with populating a Skylines city with almost-but-not-quite identical houses. 45 variations, to be exact. If you need 45 copies of a small brick house with different colored windows, you've come to the right place. Var212a or bust!
Trash
Why would you click this download link
"What does this mod?" asks DaHamper97. What does this mod indeed, DaHamper97. The world may never know.
Water Tower With Advertisement
Why would you click this download link
For when a water tower without an advertisement just looks fake. As if any easily visible surface could possibly be left free of branding! With this mod, our suspension of disbelief in Cities: Skylines remains intact.
Unuseful theme
Why would you click this download link
"It's a unuseful theme! I hope you'll have fun. Or not." writes modder 1schiffer4. This feels like a trick. This mod has only had 2 unique visitors on its page, ever, and I'm pretty sure they're both from me on different computers.