Ever wonder what the PC games of 2012 would be like if they were text adventures? Of course not, no one in their right mind would ever wonder that. In related news: I wondered that! So, rip out your GeForce GTX 680, plug in your dusty 10" CRT monitor, and stuff your programmable eight-button mouse in a stocking, because this week we're going to imagine five of this year's games the way all PC games used to be: as text adventures.
This year, the third installment of the Mass Effect trilogy gave us memorable characters, beautiful planetscapes, and a highly controversial ending, not to mention huge boobs on everyone from aliens to robots to humans to male humans. Take away the boobs (and the rest of the graphics) and what have you got? Mass Effect 3 : The Text Adventure!